How was your experience in psychiatric hospitals, if you had one? But most importantly how long have you been kept there?
I'm asking this because I have read some threads on the topic and altough the experience is almost never enjoyable for people I keep reading that usually the doctors let you go after some weeks, a month, a month and a half at maximum.
Well I'm almost a month out of that hellish place and guess how much I've been kept there? Almost five fucking months. I still can't believe I'm finally "free". That was a goddamn prison sentence w/o having committed any crime.
And for what? A failed attempt? I'm not psychotic, violent, I'm not dangerous for other people. What's the problem if I want to ctb? I'm 19, I can think clearly, I know what's best for me.
Last time it was 2 and a half months, the one before 1 (forced ospitalization because my doctor thought I was hurting myself with IV drug use, when actually it was a time in my life I was almost keeping my shit together, I was so much more functioning than now and I was doing very well at school). The time before that 1 month, forced hospitalisation again. The reason? I refused to see a psychiatrist and try the billionth shitty antidepressant that did absolutely nothing. The first time just 10 days of hospitalization (I was still underage) so I guess I can't complain about that...
And the things I saw in those places... I can just say they fucking make me lose faith in humanity.
I had to tell the doctors how the medications that they were prescribing me worked under the pharmacological profile because they didn't know shit, I got addicted to benzos 'till the point i could barely crawl out of bed without them, but God forbid that I use opioids to self-medicate 'cause those are drugs that destroy lives... fucking hypocrites.
I've seen people sleep 20+ hr a day because they were on mastodontic dosages of anti-psychotics + benzos; a guy came in looking relatively normal (just depression and a cocaine problem), in a few days he couldn't even fucking articulate a sentence because of how much overmedicated he was. Once an old man was choking on some water because of AP-induced tardive dyskinesia; I've seen people getting tied up to the bed for days on end without any valid reason, others were getting extremely dangerous medication cocktails and put at risk of serious conditions like seizures and serotonin-syndrome; one night a man (really a beautiful person btw, when an ex-cop decides to illegally give you the oxycodone he had at home without asking for any money to give you a few days of relief from the unbereable psychological pain you're in... what can you say?) was screaming and crying because of back pain and the answer of the doctor and nurses was "We already upped the dosage of his painkillers, he'll be ok, mind your own business". You stupid whore, he's sick and you're a doctor, do your fucking job!
And I could go on forever but I'll stop here. It sounds like a joke but this is a real-life horror story. I can't believe how people can be so stupid and insensitive.
The only positive thing about those places IME is that you can find folks who understand you because they know how you feel, you are not judged or made feel guilty. I've made a lot of friends in there and some of them i kept seeing even after i got out.
Anyway sorry for the rant, I just needed to take this off my chest. I hope my english is decent and everything is understandable.
TL;DR: have you ever been to a mental hospital? For how long? Were you forced or it was a free decision? Is there somenthing of your permanence (both positive or negative) that you want to share?