Discussion Promising yourself death

[black_iris]

I wanted to ask this to see if anyone else has promised themselves this when you're about to ctb:

"In {blank amount of time} i will ctb if my life doesn't get better, but for now i will live"

mini vent:

so many times i have been so close to ctbing but i just didnt have the balls to, so i tell myself i will do it for real if life continues to suck. but i never really can do it. i know some people promise themselves life; "i will never attempt again", but that seems impossible to me. I am pretty young but i cant even fathom getting old.. i've fantasized about suiciding young ever since i was a little kid.

I think i have found my final ending date though, hopefully. life is so hard for me right now and i just want it to end but im waiting it out. it's in april, ill post a goodbye thread.

 

[Gal1ctic]

Yes I do this every time and never actually do it it's starting to piss me off. I keep setting stricter boundaries but end up pushing them. Recently though I've been keeping a necktie on me so I could do it when that impulse hits? Rather than wait but that's not working either

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, passive ideation became a comfort for me quite early on. Telling myself that- if life became too much, I accepted suicide as a reasonable option to escape it. The problem being that I always felt like I couldn't while certain loved ones were still alive. So- it's never really been put to the test.

Now, I'm mostly telling myself that it can't be much longer. My Dad is the last remaining person I'm staying for and it can't realistically be decades more.

 

[fishperson]

Ye , i did a leap of a faith. And i genuinely tried to make it work.
I had high expectations, maybe i will get lucky this time. But nah it got worse.
Looking back i wish i did it at the first time cause getting older made me realize how ugly this world is.
The biggest is it gets better, although i guess some people get lucky and its them that stay alive.

 

[aesthetic]

i also have a date where i really want to kill myself, but hopefully i'll have the courage to do it.

 

[Liebestod]

I did exactly that back in 2023, "if things don't get better by 2028 I'll do it" but for some reason I'm extending it.

 

[wasphyso]

Yea I did i gave myself 1 year and if life didn't any better I would ctb and not only life not get any better it actual got worse somehow and now when I look at the calendar, I've realized that the date i sent is only 2 weeks away and I'm ready. I've lived long enough and I'm ready to see what's on the other side

 

[hyuna]

for me living feels like a form of self harm at this point lol