ihateittoo
Member
- Jun 9, 2026
- 49
I made a post here earlier this month talking about my relationship with my brother but tl;dr is he suffers from autism and used to beat me frequently as a child as well as took up the majority of my parents time. Nowadays he borders on NEET territory.
My primary group of friends is a lot of men around my age although I am on the younger side by a few months. I have one friend who I met in November of 2024 who over the course of a year and half have become very close to. We have spent a good bit of time hanging out 1 on 1 and ive started to notice that I believe I at least slightly project my desires to have a higher functioning brother onto him. He is the same age as my brother(2 years older than me) and we have tons of stuff in common.
This friend lost his younger brother to cancer when he was younger, which is why I feel sort of guilty for projecting this onto him. Although I think im the only one to notice the projections. It isn't something I would ever bring up to him. I imagine his relationship with losing his brother is very complex, and its not something we ever really talk about.
I really wish that I had an older brother who I could look up to and get advice from. By the time I got into high school I had started to fill the role of the older sibling in the household despite being 2 years younger. I wish I had someone that would buy me alcohol and give me advice on life, any sort of "normal" younger sister older brother relationship. I wish he was the friend ive been talking about. I look up to this friend a ton and always have. I wish in a lot of ways I could be more like him, he's smart and super talented. I hope when im 20 I can be like him.
I have less than a week till my ctb date, it makes me so sad to think ill put him through this. Im sorry
My primary group of friends is a lot of men around my age although I am on the younger side by a few months. I have one friend who I met in November of 2024 who over the course of a year and half have become very close to. We have spent a good bit of time hanging out 1 on 1 and ive started to notice that I believe I at least slightly project my desires to have a higher functioning brother onto him. He is the same age as my brother(2 years older than me) and we have tons of stuff in common.
This friend lost his younger brother to cancer when he was younger, which is why I feel sort of guilty for projecting this onto him. Although I think im the only one to notice the projections. It isn't something I would ever bring up to him. I imagine his relationship with losing his brother is very complex, and its not something we ever really talk about.
I really wish that I had an older brother who I could look up to and get advice from. By the time I got into high school I had started to fill the role of the older sibling in the household despite being 2 years younger. I wish I had someone that would buy me alcohol and give me advice on life, any sort of "normal" younger sister older brother relationship. I wish he was the friend ive been talking about. I look up to this friend a ton and always have. I wish in a lot of ways I could be more like him, he's smart and super talented. I hope when im 20 I can be like him.
I have less than a week till my ctb date, it makes me so sad to think ill put him through this. Im sorry
