Venting Procrastination it's killing me

[YukiFox]

I had thousands of excuses to procrastinate.
Today, it was an incident with another tennant in the house that I'm living. The anothet tennant called the landlady of "mare", and obviously she went nuts for that. She expelled him. Well, that's not the point. I want to talk about my mental state.
I have deppression, I had suicidal thoughts. I have debts with the bank. Whatever I try to stay focused on my projects, I got distracted and I want to leave behind everything.
I had a kind of friend who is helping me to managing the procastination. But the hypness of his help only keeps me focused one day.
I tried the pomodoro technique and it seems that helps me, but I'm inconsistent with those procedure. I'm scared about my future.
Why I feel trapped with my own procrastination chains? Why I can't overcome that?
Also I can't pay anymore my psychotherapy sessions.
I'm in the border of the despair. Ironically, I'm procastinating watching Sayonara, Zetsubou Sensei also.
I feel tempted to leave this world in a short time.
The mourning of my parents doesn't want me to die. Being alone, without boyfriend, doesn't make me sad. My despair is for the fucking procrastination.

 

[WornOutLife]

Procrastination, unfortunately, is always by my side.

 

[umbrellaphone]

I have no problem completing duties or whatever is required from me, even mundane chores. But when it comes to free time, I always prefer to sleep instead of doing something more fun or productive. I wonder if this qualifies as procrastination too.

 

[demuic]

I procrastinate on everything. I've tried so many different things but nothing gets me to stop.

 

[MindFog]

I mean.. i'm even procastinating when to ctb, so there's that.

 

[Arrow]

procrastination has ruined me. any task that needs doing always gets pushed aside by me. sucks so bad seeing how far i've fallen behind now

 

[voyager]

Same, suffer from it too and always feel on edge because of it. Can't get anything done. Postpone everything from crucial medical appointments to life, to ctb. Feel most comfortable when there's nothing to do, but life seldom relents. There's always something...

Spoiler: On a lighter note...