NSFW Probably SN today

[HelloIamSummer]

Only my second post here, but here we go anyway.

Today, my sn arrived. I don't go to the post much, so I was quite nervous. The way it was so easy made me nervous. I googled "sn sell" and it was like the third result. I'm pretty sure it's legit, it's a pharmacy. I am from the Czech Republic. The seller ships to other EU countries. Plus they sell it to individuals, too. I could've easily put a fake name there. They don't require any verification. So, if anyone is interested, pm me before it's too late. Anyway, as you see, it was really easy. So easy I was actually scared the police is gonna be waiting for me there...

Well, I am starting fasting at 6 pm, so I can drink the sn at 2 am. I have everything ready, except the beta blockers. I live with my parents, so I will pack a bag and go to a nearby forest. In the bag is the sn with every evidence, that it is sn, so they cannot save me. Then a glass, water, a spoon to mix it, antiemetics, antacids, painkillers, my laptop and the goodbye letter. I have a second phone, so they cannot track the first one. I am following the one day regimen.

Thank you all for helping me find a method, that is better than jumping or a train. I will keep you updated. I think it's nice to finally find closure on my birthday.

if you have any questions, feel free to ask them here. Also, I have a strong SI, so maybe I will post later, but I really hope not. But there is no chance I will survive, unless I call for help...

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I understand the appeal of dying on your birthday, but perhaps it would be better for your parents if you put some space in between your birthday and the day you died. It just came today and it keeps for a while; you can sit with it for a bit if you want.

 

[A simple aid]

Dude i wish u good luck on whatever you choose to do...and if your plan fails ....ill be here for you while you brain storm your next one....perhaps life might not seem as bad as you thought

I understand the appeal of dying on your birthday, but perhaps it would be better for your parents if you put some space in between your birthday and the day you died. It just came today and it keeps for a while; you can sit with it for a bit.

how kind of you

Only my second post here, but here we go anyway.

Today, my sn arrived. I don't go to the post much, so I was quite nervous. The way it was so easy made me nervous. I googled "sn sell" and it was like the third result. I'm pretty sure it's legit, it's a pharmacy. I am from the Czech Republic. The seller ships to other EU countries. Plus they sell it to individuals, too. I could've easily put a fake name there. They don't require any verification. So, if anyone is interested, pm me before it's too late. Anyway, as you see, it was really easy. So easy I was actually scared the police is gonna be waiting for me there...

Well, I am starting fasting at 6 pm, so I can drink the sn at 2 am. I have everything ready, except the beta blockers. I live with my parents, so I will pack a bag and go to a nearby forest. In the bag is the sn with every evidence, that it is sn, so they cannot save me. Then a glass, water, a spoon to mix it, antiemetics, antacids, painkillers, my laptop and the goodbye letter. I have a second phone, so they cannot track the first one. I am following the one day regimen.

Thank you all for helping me find a method, that is better than jumping or a train. I will keep you updated. I think it's nice to finally find closure on my birthday.

if you have any questions, feel free to ask them here. Also, I have a strong SI, so maybe I will post later, but I really hope not. But there is no chance I will survive, unless I call for help...

 

[aladdin]

Why go to the forest, can't you just lock the door and do it in your room around midnight while everyone sleeps? You'll be long gone by morning.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be a relief having the option of SN and not having to resort to a more horrific method. Farewell, I wish you freedom from all suffering. I've always liked the sound of ctb on my birthday.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I wish you a peaceful journey and freedom from your suffering.

 

[AnxietyHangover]

Fellow european here, sorry if I am too indiscrete but I sent you a PM since my source turns out to be extremely expensive to deliver in eastern europe, I would appreciate if you could help since I dont want to resort to more horrific methods.

 

[HelloIamSummer]

Why go to the forest, can't you just lock the door and do it in your room around midnight while everyone sleeps? You'll be long gone by morning.

I can't lock my door and I've heard you make noises while dying from SN.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

Hey I'm really sorry that it has come to this for you. You Are Not alone In outside to go to the forest also. Please forgive me if this is insensitive, but are you planning to use a tent or anything? I was planning on using a tent in case by some I had a chance that I end up failing and I have to wake up in the middle of the forest in the middle of the night.

I can't lock my door and I've heard you make noises while dying from SN.

Yeah, plus I don't want my family finding me. That's the entire reason I'm going to the forest.
Happy birthday by the way <3

 

[HelloIamSummer]

Hey I'm really sorry that it has come to this for you. You Are Not alone In outside to go to the forest also. Please forgive me if this is insensitive, but are you planning to use a tent or anything? I was planning on using a tent in case by some I had a chance that I end up failing and I have to wake up in the middle of the forest in the middle of the night.

Yeah, plus I don't want my family finding me. That's the entire reason I'm going to the forest.
Happy birthday by the way <3

I haven't thought of using a tent, but now that I think about it, it's a good idea, mostly because people would assume you're just camping there. And thank you for the kind words.

 

[👁️👃👁️]

I haven't thought of using a tent, but now that I think about it, it's a good idea, mostly because people would assume you're just camping there. And thank you for the kind words.

You're welcome. Of course I would hope that things could change for you but I respect your decision and choice regardless. Yeah I mean.. the woods I'm heading into might be private property so I don't want to look sketchy heading back there with a tent, but I'm starting to think maybe no one would bother me. If they do all literally just tell them I didn't know I couldn't be there.

Anyway I wish you the best with whatever choice you make. Sorry it's come to this for you.

 

[makethepainstop]

Only he who is leaving can decide the departure time. Love to all.

 

[HelloIamSummer]

It's really cold outside tonight, I'm gonna have to do it at home. Really hope they don't find me. Thank you for all the kind words!

 

[outrider567]

Only my second post here, but here we go anyway.

Today, my sn arrived. I don't go to the post much, so I was quite nervous. The way it was so easy made me nervous. I googled "sn sell" and it was like the third result. I'm pretty sure it's legit, it's a pharmacy. I am from the Czech Republic. The seller ships to other EU countries. Plus they sell it to individuals, too. I could've easily put a fake name there. They don't require any verification. So, if anyone is interested, pm me before it's too late. Anyway, as you see, it was really easy. So easy I was actually scared the police is gonna be waiting for me there...

Well, I am starting fasting at 6 pm, so I can drink the sn at 2 am. I have everything ready, except the beta blockers. I live with my parents, so I will pack a bag and go to a nearby forest. In the bag is the sn with every evidence, that it is sn, so they cannot save me. Then a glass, water, a spoon to mix it, antiemetics, antacids, painkillers, my laptop and the goodbye letter. I have a second phone, so they cannot track the first one. I am following the one day regimen.

Thank you all for helping me find a method, that is better than jumping or a train. I will keep you updated. I think it's nice to finally find closure on my birthday.

if you have any questions, feel free to ask them here. Also, I have a strong SI, so maybe I will post later, but I really hope not. But there is no chance I will survive, unless I call for help...

Wish you the best--will join you soon

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

Per ardua ad astra

 

[Pentobarbital_Plz]

Hope you find true peace! <3

 

[HelloIamSummer]

The closer it gets, the more doubt I have. I think I should not CTB if I'm not completely ready. The option will always be there. Fuck it. I'm not dying tonight. I deserve to be happy.

 

[NoLightRemains]

The closer it gets, the more doubt I have. I think I should not CTB if I'm not completely ready. The option will always be there. Fuck it. I'm not dying tonight. I deserve to be happy.

Thank you for keeping us updated. I am of a similar mindset that it is not a decision to be made while full of doubt. If you need the SN later, it will still be around. You do deserve happiness.

 

[blackwidow]

The closer it gets, the more doubt I have. I think I should not CTB if I'm not completely ready. The option will always be there. Fuck it. I'm not dying tonight. I deserve to be happy.

good choice. if you have any doubt at all your not ready to leave.. the SN is always there... and so may be a beautiful life.. who knows.. take care

 

[HelloIamSummer]

I've decided. Gonna do it today. My mom needed the antiemetic, so now I don't have it. Took the antacid and 500mg paracetamol 15 minutes prior to drinking sn. Gonna drink it at 1 am CET. I know this isn't to be rushed, but it is my time. I'm gonna try less, since I don't want to vomit it out, so 1 teaspoon. And if they find me, I will at least know I can do it. I hope noone has to experiment like this though...
I'm scared of SI, otherwise feeling really content.
Just did it!
Heart beating really fast
Shaking

 

[👁️👃👁️]

I've decided. Gonna do it today. My mom needed the antiemetic, so now I don't have it. Took the antacid and 500mg paracetamol 15 minutes prior to drinking sn. Gonna drink it at 1 am CET. I know this isn't to be rushed, but it is my time. I'm gonna try less, since I don't want to vomit it out, so 1 teaspoon. And if they find me, I will at least know I can do it. I hope noone has to experiment like this though...
I'm scared of SI, otherwise feeling really content.
Just did it!
Heart beating really fast
Heart beating really fast
Shaking

Jesus christ. I am so sorry. I hope you feel okay and find the peace you're looking for.
Sending you love and support <3

 

[HelloIamSummer]

I can literally hear my heart

 

[👁️👃👁️]

By drinking less you are going to experience more symptoms.

 

[HelloIamSummer]

Thanks

👁️👃👁️​

My hands are cold and pale

 

[👁️👃👁️]

This could take a long time.

 

[HelloIamSummer]

I don't really care anymore

 

[👁️👃👁️]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's not too late to call for help <3

 

[HelloIamSummer]

I have enough time
I am aware of that, have my phone with me, thanks

 

[👁️👃👁️]

It's your birthday right? Happy birthday Summer. You can always call for help. It's not too late.
You're welcome. Whatever happens I am sending you hugs and support. I hope you don't suffer.

 

[HelloIamSummer]

Just vomited
But it's okay, still could work
The aftertaste is the worst
I could still call for help, not feeling like it though