Prevent the survival instinct?

[S_IsMyUsername]

What do you do against the will to live? I don't know anymore, I've tried ctb 4 times, including once under the heavy influence of LSD, but never successfully, every time just before it got to that point the survival instinct kicked in and saved me. Fortunately, others have never really noticed until now. How can I prevent the survival instinct from kicking in every time?

 

[theRetroHawk]

possibly the use of drugs or alcohol could help numb or weaken the SI

 

[S_IsMyUsername]

possibly the use of drugs or alcohol could help numb or weaken the SI

Alcohol didnt worked, and most of the drugs, except for crystal or heroin I'v allready done, none of them helped me to overcome the SI, except LSD kinda but it wasnt great, i just stopped remembering everything, i couldnt even remember my name, nor the reason why i want to ctb, thats why i stopped doing it while i was high.