Concorde
Member
- Nov 19, 2025
- 38
I'm pretty sure the weird package in the mail today is what I was waiting for and I waSN't expecting to receive it just yet.
I'm still awaiting an anti-vomiting item that I would absolutely need today: I happen to have fallen ill with a stomach thing and thinking even of my favorite foods makes me gag and makes my mouth do that pre-vomit watering.
——
So sidebar, I have been seeing posts on social media about moments right before "the White Rabbit got me [got them]", like when suddenly, everything changes for the worse. Everyone I know, especially my partner, will look back with fondness and nostalgia at this time.
This is wild though, because there is nothing in me that is making my partner's life better besides habit. And when we're sad about someone leaving early or passing too young, a big part of the discomfort for me is "oh wow I'm never gonna get to do that thing we used to do but haven't done in years again". Like my cousin drank himself to death in his 40s, but our relationship peaked long, long ago and had no hope of blossoming again.
Tangentially, my old therapist told me about my old partner that I didn't need my partner's consent to leave the relationship. I would like to believe I don't need my current partner's consent or my parents' consent to leave, but it definitely doesn't feel that way.
Finally though, with this mysterious package in the mail, and with the tools to prevent vomiting, I become the most powerful person in my universe for the first time. Tell the haters to fuck off.
I'm still awaiting an anti-vomiting item that I would absolutely need today: I happen to have fallen ill with a stomach thing and thinking even of my favorite foods makes me gag and makes my mouth do that pre-vomit watering.
——
So sidebar, I have been seeing posts on social media about moments right before "the White Rabbit got me [got them]", like when suddenly, everything changes for the worse. Everyone I know, especially my partner, will look back with fondness and nostalgia at this time.
This is wild though, because there is nothing in me that is making my partner's life better besides habit. And when we're sad about someone leaving early or passing too young, a big part of the discomfort for me is "oh wow I'm never gonna get to do that thing we used to do but haven't done in years again". Like my cousin drank himself to death in his 40s, but our relationship peaked long, long ago and had no hope of blossoming again.
Tangentially, my old therapist told me about my old partner that I didn't need my partner's consent to leave the relationship. I would like to believe I don't need my current partner's consent or my parents' consent to leave, but it definitely doesn't feel that way.
Finally though, with this mysterious package in the mail, and with the tools to prevent vomiting, I become the most powerful person in my universe for the first time. Tell the haters to fuck off.
