Venting Preparing for all possibilites

[greyblue_bian]

I'm trying my best to find the other things that are suggested to take with my SN, but while I've been preparing my note/will for when I CTB, I've also been thinking about what I want to do if I fail again. I think this time, I will try to finally leave the family that's hurt me behind. I've thought of multiple different ways to raise money to move out and I already have a car that's paid off so I don't need to worry about that. I've got an apartment in mind that's relatively affordable and pretty decent and its hours away from my family and in a really quiet, nice area with a nice park, library, and vintage movie theater to go to. Other than that, I'll just be going to school and trying to get some scholarships and raise money to afford all that. I have no idea if I'll try to attempt again after I fail and go through with my "plan B". But, that's something for me to think about if it comes to that. I may not even continue school. I'd rather just work since a library job or something like that would be enough for me to get by on + I will probably pet-sit and continue writing my poetry and possibly work on my book over time. The only family I plan to keep in contact with are my cousins and my friends. I'm not sure about my mother considering our relationship. Everything looks so unsure the more I try looking ahead and seeing where my plan might get me. But, I think I'll be okay. I just want this to work.

 

[Soupster]

I will suggest, particularly if family is a stressor in your life, try moving out and living on your own for awhile before you finalize your decision to try ctb again. When I moved out of my house things were dramatically different for me. It was not a cure, but my whole perspective on life changed. It's at least something to consider. Also, it would give you more time to put together your SN kit with the ingredients you want as opposed to what you can get right now.

 

[greyblue_bian]

I will suggest, particularly if family is a stressor in your life, try moving out and living on your own for awhile before you finalize your decision to try ctb again. When I moved out of my house things were dramatically different for me. It was not a cure, but my whole perspective on life changed. It's at least something to consider. Also, it would give you more time to put together your SN kit with the ingredients you want as opposed to what you can get right now.

My situation is that my mom and I moved in with my aunt, uncle, and 2 cousins a while ago and have been living with them on and off for longer than we should be. I'm old enough to move out and am kind of slightly ashamed I didn't do it before. However, my family excluding my mom moved out a year ago as my uncle got orders to move to another country and they have been living there since. So, I guess I've gotten a taste of what it's like being without most of them and as much as it's been nice not having to overhear them or have any tension or worry that something is about to happen everyday and I miss my cousins, it hasn't really been enough. I think it's just because I've nearly detached myself emotionally from everything that's happened between us. All I have weighing on me is my mom and I's relationship deteriorating. But, that is a really solid idea. Thanks for replying :)

I'm rambling, but hopefully you get what my point is.

 

[Soupster]

For sure. And obviously don't tale what I say as a command or anything. Just a thought based on my own personal experiences. Ultimately, you're responsible for you and only you know what's best for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you all the best in whatever happens.