Discussion Prepared night-night method

[apoptosis]

I rolled up socks and since I rolled them up tightly with extra socks within them, they're weighty and square shaped.

I also rolled up a flannel to tighten around my neck, and with what I tried, even a simple knot will hold. I just need to tug on the sleeves.

I've read posts about it and I've heard that it's notoriously unreliable. I'm still going to give it a try though, at least I think so. I feel weirdly numb and out of it as I've been preparing the stuff so that's why my language is very to the point and short.

I haven't written a note. I don't want to. I'm too tired to write a note. I just want to do this and go to sleep, forever.

Idk if I'll get the guts to. I'm starting to feel anxious. But anxiety is an old friend and I know how to deal with it easily— namely, self harm.

I just realized if I end up dying I guess this would be my note.

I'm just too tired. I don't want to exist in the future. I just want to stay in the present where I don't have to do anything that isn't immediately gratifying. But I have to exist in the future, that's the nature of time. I have to work. I have to be independent. I have to be an adult.

If anything would be my worst fear, that would be it. Why? I don't know honestly. I just want to be a kid that doesn't need to have a job or go to college. Fuck, my job caused me to have panic attacks and the antidepressants that I was prescribed because of the anxiety caused me to have a literal eating disorder and self harm. And have constant suicidal ideation.

I've hurt for far too long. I'm so done with life. I'm so done with feeling constant dread when ever I so much as think about the future.

It's better for me to be dead. I'll never be a functioning member of society since I can't even get my ass up to do anything productive. I'd genuinely rather die than participate in society.

So yeah. I guess that would work as a letter? lol

But, yeah. Idk if I'll attempt rn but I have it prepped. And that's the farthest I've ever gotten.

I hope I find peace.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I'm sorry you're suffering. I hope you find the peace you deserve.

I'll admit, I feel oddly drawn to the Night-Night method. Something about it just feels... right to me. I may end up choosing it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have never really considered this method before, because I read about a failed attempt with it. I guess that if it does work, it is always an option for me. I also feel tired with life and I know that this life can be unbearable when all you want is to leave. Having dread for the future really can be awful. One of the most horrible things about this life is that there is no limit as to how bad things can get. I wish you the best and I hope you find relief from suffering in whatever you decide to do.