Pre suicide guilt

[cantdecidenameeven]

Those planning to CTB, how are you dealing with the feelings and emotions of knowing how much pain will be transferred onto those who love you? Especially your family?

 

[PanaxMan]

Those planning to CTB, how are you dealing with the feelings and emotions of knowing how much pain will be transferred onto those who love you? Especially your family?

I won't be able to see the guilt when you are dead. I mean look at all deaths across history. And we also will die. 100 percent Of everyone you seen is going to die.

 

[cantdecidenameeven]

I won't be able to see the guilt when you are dead. I mean look at all deaths across history. And we also will die. 100 percent Of everyone you seen is going to die.

Yes but we are talking about us right now, the living us. I know we won't be able to feel the guilt then, but I am talking about the guilt before the event...because you know what this will do.

 

[PanaxMan]

Yes but we are talking about us right now, the living us. I know we won't be able to feel the guilt then, but I am talking about the guilt before the event...because you know what this will do.

Not really if you don't have much left. But if you do well it's your decision

 

[nihacc]

My empathy is extremely limited, and I'm not even sure I would care. For example, I've made my grandmother on my father's side cry because I said I couldn't trust her (something like that, it was 2-3 years ago so I don't remember it that much). I didn't mean to hurt her, but it still happened and I found it more ridiculous than anything. It's similar for the rest of my family, as well. I'm not malicious, I just find it hard to care. Not to mention I have pretty much zero empathy for strangers.

If you want advice - I think this is something you have to come to terms with yourself. Your relationships and emotions are unique and personal. Maybe creating a good final experience with those you love will help you find solace. Perhaps go out to a restaurant, a theme park, movie theater, whatever you would both enjoy.

 

[KawasakiNinjaZXRR]

Besides the logistical complications, the idea of bringing shame to my family, traumatizing them and my friends and also them missing me, is the only thing that has kept me from committing suicide for now.
I know i won't be there to see them suffering but i still think about it daily. I don't know how to deal with it.

 

[Forveleth]

Thr people who "love" me are the reason I am here.

 

[gardenoflonely]

Idk I've been going back in forth on whether I feel sympathetic or not. Honestly I don't think there's anything that can be done to soften the blow of ctb for everyone else. I just tell myself that in time everything will pass including grief. I feel like my family is luckier than most people so I've started not feeling bad. I know that's a terrible thing but I've bent over backwards for everyone and still get false rumors spread and the worst assumed about me so I stopped caring. In my situation it doesn't matter either way, I know that's not true for everyone. But I already know there's so many parents out there wishing their kid showed them journals and had in depth conversations about their mental health the way I do. I wonder how many wish their kid just said something while I'm saying everything and nobody around me could care less.

 

[2muchpain2]

Besides the logistical complications, the idea of bringing shame to my family, traumatizing them and my friends and also them missing me, is the only thing that has kept me from committing suicide for now.
I know i won't be there to see them suffering but i still think about it daily. I don't know how to deal with it.

This is me too. the ONLY thing keeping me on this earth day by day. But, I have to move past it because I am suffering while here.
Do you guys thing ctb is harder to deal with than just a spontaneous natural death or accidental death? I think it would cause more complex feelings, but I think the feeling of missing someone is likely the same. Idk.

 

[KawasakiNinjaZXRR]

This is me too. the ONLY thing keeping me on this earth day by day. But, I have to move past it because I am suffering while here.
Do you guys thing ctb is harder to deal with than just a spontaneous natural death or accidental death?

I think that making it seem like an accident is better. I've thought about driving to a wall at a high speed or something like that. I think it would be less traumatizing and less shameful that way.

I think the feeling of missing someone is likely the same.

I've thought about becoming a shitty person to the people that love me, but i don't think that would be productive. They would miss the old me, kind of how fans of Kanye West miss the old version of him.

Stay strong, bro

 

[LastDayOnEarth]

I don't have much of it anymore, not cause I don't care but because it's beyond my reach and it wouldn't be fault

 

[2muchpain2]

I think that making it seem like an accident is better. I've thought about driving to a wall at a high speed or something like that. I think it would be less traumatizing and less shameful that way.

An accident would be ideal, but driving into a tree isn't guaranteed death. Another accident I was thinking of, is going to Yosemite or some other place in nature that has high and dangerous hikes, and just slip and fall??
I'm so fucking lazy too when it comes to going out of my way too much to ctb. I heard of a girl who traveled from a country outside of the USA just to go to a suspension bridge in Colorado (I thinik?) and jump. She did all that to die and after she did that, her father and others got suicide railings installed on that bridge.