Venting Postponing my suicide to save my cat

[banger12]

I know the title sounds ridiculous but it really isn't.

So I really love my cat and she is honestly one of the few good things I have left. Past month my dad's been bringing her to the vet because of seeming urinary issues. Roughly a week ago (the days all blend together and it's hard to tell anymore) at one of her visits they discovered that she had two bladder stones and that she would need surgery to help her. It is quite expensive.

Family has already paid quite a bit of money over the past vet visits and now this procedure is thousands of dollars. Particularly my step-mother was quite upset. They didn't want to pay for the surgery, and it became clear that it was even possible that our (relatively young and healthy) cat gets put down. I offered to pay for it. Problem is that I don't work much hours and I'm minimum wage, it'll take a while for me to have the money to pay it in full. So my dad came up with the solution that they cover it up front and I pay them back. But this means that my life has unfortunately been extended at least a handful of months into the future. It is worth saving my cats life but it's still awful.

Honestly the situation had made me upset at my parents, particularly my step mom, who has already been mad about previous vet bills and who I feel has been cold and heartless over this.

There is also a dark and perverse irony that the same people who would force me to live indefinitely despite my death wish and how miserable I am and how much my quality of life had declined over the past year would also kill my cat, who wants to live, to cut costs.

Sometimes you gotta make hard decisions when you can't afford a sick pet. I understand that. And it's only natural to be concerned about such large bills. However you don't need to be so nasty over it. And given everything, I think it's the wrong choice here.

I'm just frustrated by all of this. Our cat is truly great and I love her so it's sad to think that she might die without my intervention.

Why not kill me to cover her vet bills instead?

 

[rhiino]

There is also a dark and perverse irony that the same people who would force me to live indefinitely despite my death wish and how miserable I am and how much my quality of life had declined over the past year would also kill my cat, who wants to live, to cut costs.

This is written very nicely. I agree very much.

Please don't be offended by my thoughts about your dilemma and those are genuine questions:
What holds you off letting them pay to save your cat and then continue with your plans or decide after your cat is saved what to do? At least you write you are already upset at them. Would they even care about the debt when you follow through with your plans?

 

[banger12]

This is written very nicely. I agree very much.

Please don't be offended by my thoughts about your dilemma and those are genuine questions:
What holds you off letting them pay to save your cat and then continue with your plans or decide after your cat is saved what to do? At least you write you are already upset at them. Would they even care about the debt when you follow through with your plans?

The issue is that the only reason she can get her surgery is because im paying for it. It's also just shitty to stick people with a $2k bill that you offered to pay, and especially since step mom is bitter about this i wouldn't want that to influence future treatment of the cat, especially when I'm gone. Or ruin family finances.

I'm only delaying my suicide until I can pay off the surgery. Once I've paid them back in full I will kill myself.

 

[rhiino]

I see, I see. I have not thought of the fact that the cat will stay with them.

Regarding the money: Don't you think they would be more disturbed about your death than the money? After all a funeral will cost a bit as well.

 

[Pluto]