anopenwound
I̸'̷m̵ ̸g̶o̷i̶n̵g̷ ̶h̵o̶m̶e̶.̵
- Jul 27, 2024
- 72
@cheyxnn She's still here cause she's exceptional. That doesn't mean anything per se. It surely doesn't mean I'm worth it. If I was life wouldn't have turned the way it has.
No, you said what you said. I'm not offended in the least, nor take it as combative. I appreciate the sympathy. I'm not judging you nor anyone. I, personally, would consider it selfish of me to bring my baby into this world (thank the universe that I don't have children) and catch the bus on them. Or if I had at least a functional relationship with my parents, and they got up to where they couldn't take care of themselves and depended on me. At that point, life stops being about me. My child is the only thing that would matter to me. Now, when they get older and can take care of themselves, I'd proceed to do it and try to make them understand why I had to.I'm very sorry for that... truly. For most, children/parents have unconditional love but you are correct that it depends on the circumstances. I'm not and can't judge anyone because I am going to be doing it and I will be judged. However, the OP asked if suicide is selfish.....I can only say that in many cases, based on the definition, it is. I am going to be creating pain and suffering and trauma for my loved ones because I need to end my own immense pain and suffering.... Therefore, I am putting my "need" to end it above what they are going to have to endure as a result. I'm not speaking for you. I should have worded my response differently.
On the same token, you said, "If I had young children or someone who was dependent on me, then I would not even consider ctb. I guess it CAN be selfish in that regard." Unfortunately, I fall into this camp and I never could have or would have thought to do something like this but when you have been injured in such a rare way that you are suffering immensely, it's like being in a burning building you need to escape from. No one could imagine it and as you said, shouldn't judge another. But I feel incredibly judged and guilty based on what you said. I don't want to leave or hurt my loved ones....
For what it's worth, I am sorry you had horrible parents. I'm not trying to lay guilt on anyone. I should have worded things a bit differently and I apologize for that.
Thank you for understanding. For me, it's not just depression, etc. I have a lot of neurological issues and physical pain and rare conditions that make me miserable.... plus brain damage and extreme depression. Otherwise, I would never leave them. EVER. The pain of that adds to my suffering so much.No, you said what you said. I'm not offended in the least, nor take it as combative. I appreciate the sympathy. I'm not judging you nor anyone. I, personally, would consider it selfish of me to bring my baby into this world (thank the universe that I don't have children) and catch the bus on them. Or if I had at least a functional relationship with my parents, and they got up to where they couldn't take care of themselves and depended on me. At that point, life stops being about me. My child is the only thing that would matter to me. Now, when they get older and can take care of themselves, I'd proceed to do it and try to make them understand why I had to.
I get it. The pain can just become too unbearable. If one wants to think of that as being selfish, then so be it. I totally sympathize with you, though.