Postponed

[Anarchy]

Today was meant to be the day I die, but I have decided to go tomorrow instead. I will not be left home alone today, but I will be tomorrow.
It will probably seem very tragic for my mum. I'm not especially close to her, but we've gotten on pretty well lately. I haven't actually disliked her lately.
She said that she is excited that the antidepressants I'm taking seem to be working.
We have decided to go out today: my mum, my twin sister and I. My mum said that it would be nice to have a last day together. She probably meant that it would be different once my sister starts college this Wednesday; that we wouldn't all go out then. She was joking that she didn't literally mean it will be the last day together.
I wonder what she'll think when she looks back on that. I find it appropriately tragic.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

doesnt sound your ready brp

im pretty sure u wont do it tommorow aswell but thats fine.

dont stress yourself too much. there is no time pressure for suicide

 

[Anarchy]

doesnt sound your ready brp

im pretty sure u wont do it tommorow aswell but thats fine.

dont stress yourself too much. there is no time pressure for suicide

I can't be sure that I'm ready, but a lot of things are best done before you're properly ready. I'm excited about it when thinking about it but I'll most likely be terrified when It's happening. I think I'll have to force myself to do it despite my anxiety and fear.

 

[QueenEtna]

If you decide to go through with it tomorrow good luck. May you find peace in the afterlife.

 

[Anarchy]

If you decide to go through with it tomorrow good luck. May you find peace in the afterlife.

Thanks

 

[throwaway123]

Today was meant to be the day I die, but I have decided to go tomorrow instead. I will not be left home alone today, but I will be tomorrow.
It will probably seem very tragic for my mum. I'm not especially close to her, but we've gotten on pretty well lately. I haven't actually disliked her lately.
She said that she is excited that the antidepressants I'm taking seem to be working.
We have decided to go out today: my mum, my twin sister and I. My mum said that it would be nice to have a last day together. She probably meant that it would be different once my sister starts college this Wednesday; that we wouldn't all go out then. She was joking that she didn't literally mean it will be the last day together.
I wonder what she'll think when she looks back on that. I find it appropriately tragic.

I think she's suspecting something.

I can't be sure that I'm ready, but a lot of things are best done before you're properly ready. I'm excited about it when thinking about it but I'll most likely be terrified when It's happening. I think I'll have to force myself to do it despite my anxiety and fear.

That's how I feel as well. I get panic attacks. The last time I tried to CTB they were so bad I almost called the ambulance. This is the reason I haven't actually attempted in over a year now. I'm afraid to fail again because I don't have a peaceful method.

 

[Anarchy]

I think she's suspecting something.



That's how I feel as well. I get panic attacks. The last time I tried to CTB they were so bad I almost called the ambulance. This is the reason I haven't actually attempted in over a year now. I'm afraid to fail again because I don't have a peaceful method.

Nope, not suspecting anything:) She'd sound serious and suspicious if she suspected anything. She genuinely mispoke. That's why it's so appropriately tragic - she'll look back at when she said that and think about just how true it was, when it seemed very untrue.On the contrary: she thinks that I'm getting better because of the medication.

I've always felt kind of calm when going down to the tracks, but I know that there's now at on Earth I could keep my cool with a speeding train rushing towards me. It's one of those things you just have to do, or you never do it at all.

 

[throwaway123]

Nope, not suspecting anything:) She'd sound serious and suspicious if she suspected anything. She genuinely mispoke. That's why it's so appropriately tragic - she'll look back at when she said that and think about just how true it was, when it seemed very untrue.On the contrary: she thinks that I'm getting better because of the medication.

I've always felt kind of calm when going down to the tracks, but I know that there's now at on Earth I could keep my cool with a speeding train rushing towards me. It's one of those things you just have to do, or you never do it at all.

You're right. You're so right. I should do it today. Shit I should've done it years ago. I've been postponing it for way to long.

 

[Anarchy]

You're right. You're so right. I should do it today. Shit I should've done it years ago. I've been postponing it for way to long.

Same here. I've postponed for about a year already. I need to stop over thinking it and just do it. The most terrifying moment of my life seems worth it for never having to wake up again.