(Possible?) goodbye

[letsgetittogo]

Ever since my failed SN attempt on January 25th, I've felt some anxiety in attempting again. The failed attempt was most likely my fault, since I didn't want to die sober so I took substances that weren't outlined in Stan's guide, and that's most likely why I puked after going unconscious.

Since then, I've explored other options such as CO poisoning and AMI, mostly because I was afraid of failing again. Though they seemed very tempting and all valid, I've come to the conclusion, today, that I'm not willing to wait for the time and effort required to completely pivot to a new method, and have decided to try SN again.

I spent yesterday at a mountain near where I live, snowboarding with some of my closest friends. Today, we all came together for a Super Bowl party; and we're having a pretty good time, it'll be the last time I drink, since tomorrow I'll be starting my 48 hour fast. As much as I enjoy my friendships, and as full of joy as this weekend has been, in the back of my mind, I know I'm ready. I'd like to go out after having an extremely fulfilling weekend than when I feel cornered or extremely upset.

I probably won't post an official goodbye post right before I take my SN, so I'd consider this my "goodbye". If my SI gets the better of me, or if I fail once more, I'll post an update. I also won't be livestreaming it or anything, but if anyone wants to be on the phone to take some notes / document my attempt (no camera, just audio) I'd be open to it as well, so it can serve as a resource for others who have questions about what an SN attempt looks like. Mods, please delete my account if I haven't returned in a week.

For anyone that wants my exact regimen, has any questions, or just wants to talk, I'll be around for the next 2 days. This community has meant the world to me. It's been the only safe space that my brain has found in a long time. Thank you in advance, love all of you lots.

Letsgetittogo

 

[Unknown21]

Hope you find peace, goodluck.

 

[restless.dreams]

Sounds like you're going into this decision with a clear head. I wish you luck wherever the road takes you.

I'm considering SN as well -- would you be willing to send me your regimen? No worries if not!

 

[Dliena]

I'm hoping your final moments can be joyful and wishing eternal peaceful bliss to you.

 

[ctb_warrior]

I wish you the best and may you find the peace you are looking for

 

[StaringIntoAnAbyss]

may you find peace in your decision

 

[Gonnerr]

Good luck , hope you find peace.

 

[Doemu]

I sorry for you need to find peace for second time. Really hope you can rest.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck in your plans, I hope that you find the freedom you search for.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Wish you to finally find peace.

 

[Quantum Particle]

I wish you the very best

 

[LoiteringClouds]

I spent yesterday at a mountain near where I live, snowboarding with some of my closest friends. Today, we all came together for a Super Bowl party; and we're having a pretty good time, it'll be the last time I drink, since tomorrow I'll be starting my 48 hour fast. As much as I enjoy my friendships, and as full of joy as this weekend has been, in the back of my mind, I know I'm ready. I'd like to go out after having an extremely fulfilling weekend than when I feel cornered or extremely upset.

I'm glad to hear you spent a good time with your friends, but so sorry you reached this point.
Because you said you wanted to be a pilot[1]...

Hello Andres,
It's genuinely your time, I guess.
I'm a stranger but I wish you peace,
May your extreme suffering soon cease.

I can't imagine what you're bearing -
Now you need to go, though you're caring.
I saw love and kindness filled your draft[2],
Now, you need your heaven-bound aircraft.

I believe you'll be a good pilot.
Even though you've suffered here a lot,
Into the sky, you'll take off and soar -
You'll be free and tormented no more.

May you find oblivion you need -
Andres, Godspeed.

References:
[1]

What are your dead dreams?

What are some goals or wishes that you gave up on? It could be something realistic (for some people) that you don't see in your future like owning a home or being happy with someone, or something that seems completely unattainable, like a childhood dream that you had to shed as you grew older...

sanctioned-suicide.net

[2]

My suicide note.

I’ve been trying to narrow down my method of ctb, and aim to do it by December. As I prepare to ctb, I’ve realized how important my last words truly are to me. Since most people won’t ever care to hear my final words irl, I figured I’d post the rough draft for my suicide note in this thread. I...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Praestat_Mori]

May you find peace. Good luck with your plan!

 

[letsgetittogo]

Sounds like you're going into this decision with a clear head. I wish you luck wherever the road takes you.

I'm considering SN as well -- would you be willing to send me your regimen? No worries if not!

Check PMs!

 

[mortuarymary]

Sending so many hugs your way.

 

[letsgetittogo]

Th

I'm glad to hear you spent a good time with your friends, but so sorry you reached this point.
Because you said you wanted to be a pilot[1]...

Hello Andres,
It's genuinely your time, I guess.
I'm a stranger but I wish you peace,
May your extreme suffering soon cease.

I can't imagine what you're bearing -
Now you need to go, though you're caring.
I saw love and kindness filled your draft[2],
Now, you need your heaven-bound aircraft.

I believe you'll be a good pilot.
Even though you've suffered here a lot,
Into the sky, you'll take off and soar -
You'll be free and tormented no more.

May you find oblivion you need -
Andres, Godspeed.

References:
[1]

What are your dead dreams?

What are some goals or wishes that you gave up on? It could be something realistic (for some people) that you don't see in your future like owning a home or being happy with someone, or something that seems completely unattainable, like a childhood dream that you had to shed as you grew older...

sanctioned-suicide.net

[2]

My suicide note.

I’ve been trying to narrow down my method of ctb, and aim to do it by December. As I prepare to ctb, I’ve realized how important my last words truly are to me. Since most people won’t ever care to hear my final words irl, I figured I’d post the rough draft for my suicide note in this thread. I...

sanctioned-suicide.net

This was really kind and personal :,) thank you for hearing what I had to say. Thank you for giving me the time of day to read some of the things going through my mind. Sometimes I felt like even here I didn't have a voice but, I'm glad someone took the time to read some of the stuff I wrote.

Godspeed

 

[rozeske]

I wish you a painless and smooth journey. I hope you find your peace and freedom

 

[roku6]

I hope it goes according your plan.
Would you share or pm your regimen? Learning from attempts either success or not is invaluable information.

 

[Margarethe666#!/&]

Ever since my failed SN attempt on January 25th, I've felt some anxiety in attempting again. The failed attempt was most likely my fault, since I didn't want to die sober so I took substances that weren't outlined in Stan's guide, and that's most likely why I puked after going unconscious.

Since then, I've explored other options such as CO poisoning and AMI, mostly because I was afraid of failing again. Though they seemed very tempting and all valid, I've come to the conclusion, today, that I'm not willing to wait for the time and effort required to completely pivot to a new method, and have decided to try SN again.

I spent yesterday at a mountain near where I live, snowboarding with some of my closest friends. Today, we all came together for a Super Bowl party; and we're having a pretty good time, it'll be the last time I drink, since tomorrow I'll be starting my 48 hour fast. As much as I enjoy my friendships, and as full of joy as this weekend has been, in the back of my mind, I know I'm ready. I'd like to go out after having an extremely fulfilling weekend than when I feel cornered or extremely upset.

I probably won't post an official goodbye post right before I take my SN, so I'd consider this my "goodbye". If my SI gets the better of me, or if I fail once more, I'll post an update. I also won't be livestreaming it or anything, but if anyone wants to be on the phone to take some notes / document my attempt (no camera, just audio) I'd be open to it as well, so it can serve as a resource for others who have questions about what an SN attempt looks like. Mods, please delete my account if I haven't returned in a week.

For anyone that wants my exact regimen, has any questions, or just wants to talk, I'll be around for the next 2 days. This community has meant the world to me. It's been the only safe space that my brain has found in a long time. Thank you in advance, love all of you lots.

Letsgetittogo

Hey. I'm new here and I find this webpage very helpful. I hope you get the rest and peace sending hugs I was thinking about SN as well if you could send me documents/audio about how SN attempt looks like I would be very grateful. I hope you will get it this time take care

 

[letsgetittogo]

I hope it goes according your plan.
Would you share or pm your regimen? Learning from attempts either success or not is invaluable information.

PM me not comfortable talking just in a normal thread

Hey. I'm new here and I find this webpage very helpful. I hope you get the rest and peace sending hugs I was thinking about SN as well if you could send me documents/audio about how SN attempt looks like I would be very grateful. I hope you will get it this time take care

Hey if you'd like, you can listen in while I do it? Otherwise I'm not gonna record it :p