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What's more painful for online friends after CTB?

  • Disappearing without a hint after acting normal prior to CTB. Leaving them clueless.

    Votes: 8 61.5%
  • Letting them know I'm killing myself. Leaving a suicide note.

    Votes: 5 38.5%

  • Total voters
    13
UmbraDweller

UmbraDweller

༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ
Sep 15, 2023
122
I'm focusing on online friends here, because everyone else like family will find out and fast. I was wondering what is better for the ones who won't find out if I never tell them. I honestly can't decide what's better and I keep jumping from one back to the other. Both options will always cause pain, but which will be greater?

Note hits greatly all at once, but at least they will know for sure what's up, might move on faster and for good.

Randomly disappearing brings lesser pain in the moment, but longterm hurt of worry and wonder. Creating fake hopes of being still around.
They will either never find out, possibly find out after longer time if they decide to dig one day, or make unclear conclusions if they knew about my suicidality.

What are your thoughts, which one do you consider more harmful for them and why?
 
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nothingtodoh3r3

Member
May 4, 2024
16
I think leaving them a note has much more pros, they may not agree with the choices but they will get an explanation of your disappearance instead of not getting closure leading them to worry and make false hope which will hurt them even more in the long run.

But really it's a matter of if you want them to know about your plans and your end.
 
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XdragonsoulX

XdragonsoulX

Vengeance Incarnate
Apr 13, 2022
113
it's kind of an iffy thing on how understanding your friends are to suicide. When I was 17 and had my first attempt that actually landed me in the hospital, I told my friends after I had already OD'd, the ones who cared stayed in the end after I got out of the hospital, the ones who didn't understand who I thought would care abandoned me. I've got friends who know and are prepared for any moment for my suicide knowing "it's a long time coming" then there are others who once they even remotely find out will probably resent me

Next time tho there will be a note for those who need it but the ones who I know can't tolerate it will get nothing
 
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