yesterday night local time ,( 22 hours ago) i was ready to end my life by charcoal burning method. i had been preparing myself for some time. i bout 17 kg of good quality charcoal, since my room is 80 cubic meter wide. at 11 pm i took 8*10 mg of diazepam and 4*500 mg of paracetamol. i prepared 4 local charcoal burning stoves,also i brought LIKE OLD METAL POTS AND OTHER THINGs THAT MAY HOLD THE CHARCOAL . ALL TOGETHER I HAVE GATHERED 8 TOOLS TO BURN THE CHARCOAL. THE CHARCOAL BURN IN GLOWING RED VERY QUICKLY FEW CHARCOAL WERE SMOKING SO I THROW THEM OUT In avery few minutes every thing looks good al tools were burning the charcoal very finely. i am doing this a few ench behind the door way with the door open so the wind was helping much. when i decided all tools were burning the charcoal glowing red i closed the door and stuck the area between the door and the floor with clothes tightly. now the diazepam was starting to take effect. i feel tired and sleepy also a little relax. i remembered i had to seal the door and window with a tape (plaster) and i began to seal a portion of the window. but i didn't even finish that i felt tired. also i was feeling uncomfortable in my lung but that was not un tolerable. it made want to go out and breath fresh air i ignored it it was not that hard. another challenge was the heat from the coal it was difficult to get near so i put them far from me. i didn't even finish half of the 17 gk of charcoal when i began to feel more and more tired there is also this slight feeling of lack of comfort in your lung. i was also sweating tough half of the remaining charcoal was still in the bag. i took of my t shirt but i don't remember now when i took off my pants w didn't seal the door and the other half of the window. i began to feel disorganized it seemed things were going fine. i wanted to post something here about what was going on but i was so weak. i sat on my bed . i was drifting away into unconsciousness it was somehow peaceful you wouldn't seem to have the mental strength to think about things. things look blurred. then suddenly my grandmother knocked on my door. it was almost 12 pm what was she doing i was tempted to curse her. i was scared. what she would say if she saw all those things. the door was metal and it was heating she sensed the strong heat when she get closer to the door she became suspicious. i told her it was ok and to go, with semi conscious mind but she ordered me to open the door. at that moment while i was talking to her i passed out, the next thing i am telling you is what my family members told me i was totally unconscious. another relative came and pound on my door he to notice the heat close to the door. he climbed up and look inside through the window glass he was terrified the room was full of burning charcoal and i was fainted. he smashed the glass above the window and open the window. pour water on the stoves of charcoal once he is inside he opened the door and called some people the only thing i was wearing was a boxer. they said i wa sweating and sweat was drooping from my body. they lay me outside and wash my body with cold water i didn't remember any of this. then they took me to hospital 30 km a way i was given oxygen and glucose. i partially remembered when the take blood sample from my arm. the next morning with full consciousness i saw the the name of the hospital posted on the wall in front of me that was when i knew were i was i was so surprised. when i am righting this almost a day later i feel regret only if they were 30 minutes late i wouldn't be stolen my peaceful journey to death.
it is not going to be easy to get a convenient a room for me again everyone around me are looking with watchful eyes on me. i so so so much regret the golden opportunity i missed .
but if my testimony is needed chsrcosl burning is a peaceful method but it needs time. also i am feeling no side effect right now how ever i was only exposed for not more than two hours
it is not going to be easy to get a convenient a room for me again everyone around me are looking with watchful eyes on me. i so so so much regret the golden opportunity i missed .
but if my testimony is needed chsrcosl burning is a peaceful method but it needs time. also i am feeling no side effect right now how ever i was only exposed for not more than two hours
