Venting Please help me keep it together until I ctb on Sunday…

[archipelago]

Delayed my plan twice, and I so fucking regret it. Only had shitty, anxiety and trauma response inducing shit happen since then. This HAS to be the opportunity I take, and a successful one at that.

I don't want to write in detail about what's going on because some things may be identifying. But I'm mostly ctb to avoid a new trauma from happening fully, and it has a planned date which is very soon. I'm just so done. I'm tired of having so many fucking traumas thrown at me and decided enough is enough.

If I had left as planned I would have had a peaceful last couple of weeks, relatively speaking.

At the same time, it was good to have the extra week so I could get a few more things in better order and take more notes. All the important documents are in order, just have one more letter to review the draft of and write out.

Im also struggling a bit with finalizing the SN plan, if anyone could kindly take a look at my profile for the info I'd appreciate it so much.

 

[Apricity]

Delayed my plan twice, and I so fucking regret it. Only had shitty, anxiety and trauma response inducing shit happen since then. This HAS to be the opportunity I take, and a successful one at that.

I don't want to write in detail about what's going on because some things may be identifying. But I'm mostly ctb to avoid a new trauma from happening fully, and it has a planned date which is very soon. I'm just so done. I'm tired of having so many fucking traumas thrown at me and decided enough is enough.

If I had left as planned I would have had a peaceful last couple of weeks, relatively speaking.

At the same time, it was good to have the extra week so I could get a few more things in better order and take more notes. All the important documents are in order, just have one more letter to review the draft of and write out.

Im also struggling a bit with finalizing the SN plan, if anyone could kindly take a look at my profile for the info I'd appreciate it so much.

You sound much like I did when I was going to court for sentencing; I took a handful of morphine pills, Klonopin, and other meds then flipped out the next morning when I woke up and realized it didn't work. I hope everything gets better for you, one way or the other.

 

[archipelago]

You sound much like I did when I was going to court for sentencing; I took a handful of morphine pills, Klonopin, and other meds then flipped out the next morning when I woke up and realized it didn't work. I hope everything gets better for you, one way or the other.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Panic really is the worst.

The issue isn't related to any kind of law breaking.

I have sn and the necessary other drugs for the method. Will have a hotel room and no one to disturb me for more than 24 hours after I drink the sn. Everything is planned, nothing impulsive. I just need to get out of here. I'm so tired of always having to start over and I deserve peace and rest.

 

[Apricity]

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Panic really is the worst.

The issue isn't related to any kind of law breaking.

I have sn and the necessary other drugs for the method. Will have a hotel room and no one to disturb me for more than 24 hours after I drink the sn. Everything is planned, nothing impulsive. I just need to get out of here. I'm so tired of always having to start over and I deserve peace and rest.

Sounds like a good plan. I was thinking of a hotel myself but might ctb at home in my bed. I'm not sure yet which.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering. This life really can be tiring. I wish you peace if this is your decision.

 

[sully]

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Panic really is the worst.

The issue isn't related to any kind of law breaking.

I have sn and the necessary other drugs for the method. Will have a hotel room and no one to disturb me for more than 24 hours after I drink the sn. Everything is planned, nothing impulsive. I just need to get out of here. I'm so tired of always having to start over and I deserve peace and rest.

if you need to chat to someone before you do it to support you you can pm me. I understand that you need a lot of support right now. I am the same.

 

[archipelago]

Sounds like a good plan. I was thinking of a hotel myself but might ctb at home in my bed. I'm not sure yet which.

Would have loved do it in my room. It would bring a sense of comfort. I hope you can do what is most comforting for you. I'm 33 back to living with my parents and there's no way I could get away with it if I did it here.

if you need to chat to someone before you do it to support you you can pm me. I understand that you need a lot of support right now. I am the same.

Thank you so much, I will pm you

 

[pole]

sorry about what you're going through.

you must feel like your drowning and things seem to be getting intense right now for you because of the planned date of that new trauma that is around the corner.

like others have mentioned, feel free to PM myself or others. we'd be happy to chat and try and help alleviate some of the stress and anxiety that your dealing with. you can also drop by in the chatroom and speak to others active in chat to get your mind off things.

regardless, hope you feel better. goodluck with whatever you choose to do.

take care.

 

[archipelago]

sorry about what you're going through.

you must feel like your drowning and things seem to be getting intense right now for you because of the planned date of that new trauma that is around the corner.

like others have mentioned, feel free to PM myself or others. we'd be happy to chat and try and help alleviate some of the stress and anxiety that your dealing with. you can also drop by in the chatroom and speak to others active in chat to get your mind off things.

regardless, hope you feel better. goodluck with whatever you choose to do.

take care.

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it