Defenestration
I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
- Oct 25, 2020
- 510
Hi,
in real life I have a big social mask I am smiling, enthusiastic, warm, I help others with kindness whether with money, gifts, pleasant words of comfort,i never complain.
here I have the label of someone whiny, painful, annoying, who demands the attention all the time, of a calimero
but I like it here because it's the ONLY place in the world where I can let go. and obviously it is not prohibited by the forum charter...no?
I promise to use fewer smileys but the problem is that in writing there is no tone and English is not my mother tongue (sometimes errors with Google translate). I used a lot of smileys because I'm SUPER EMOTIONNAL and I feel like a little child.
even among psychiatrists, they say annoying and guilt-inducing things like you can't commit suicide because you're still young, you don't have the right to abandon your parents who raised you (my mother has the beginnings of Alzheimer's disease but lives with my father), life has lots of positive aspects, think about those who love you and who will be unhappy, find our new passions etc etc...
the last time I was even told that I was being blackmailed to suicide because I talked too much about suicide so I decided to no longer really talk to psychiatrists about suicide because for them it is absolute evil and I risk ending up against my will in a psychiatric hospital (and I find that my people are poorly treated there)
thank you for reading it
I love you all
@The Schizoid
PEACE please:I 'm just very clumsy I don't purposely bother people...
in real life I have a big social mask I am smiling, enthusiastic, warm, I help others with kindness whether with money, gifts, pleasant words of comfort,i never complain.
here I have the label of someone whiny, painful, annoying, who demands the attention all the time, of a calimero
but I like it here because it's the ONLY place in the world where I can let go. and obviously it is not prohibited by the forum charter...no?
I promise to use fewer smileys but the problem is that in writing there is no tone and English is not my mother tongue (sometimes errors with Google translate). I used a lot of smileys because I'm SUPER EMOTIONNAL and I feel like a little child.
even among psychiatrists, they say annoying and guilt-inducing things like you can't commit suicide because you're still young, you don't have the right to abandon your parents who raised you (my mother has the beginnings of Alzheimer's disease but lives with my father), life has lots of positive aspects, think about those who love you and who will be unhappy, find our new passions etc etc...
the last time I was even told that I was being blackmailed to suicide because I talked too much about suicide so I decided to no longer really talk to psychiatrists about suicide because for them it is absolute evil and I risk ending up against my will in a psychiatric hospital (and I find that my people are poorly treated there)
thank you for reading it
I love you all
@The Schizoid
PEACE please:I 'm just very clumsy I don't purposely bother people...
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I wish you nothing else then peace and happiness Juhu 
I can relate to your post. I have severe depression/anxiety and social anxiety, although I try to be a source of happiness for other people at times. However, the reality of this world and sentient existence (life) is painful in itself, so this website helps me get my frustrations/sadness with this world and sentient existence (life) out to people who can relate to me. I don't have many friends and neither do I have many people who understand what I'm going through (Life is hard!). Don't feel bad for having to use this website to express sadness/frustration/anger anonymously.
