Venting please be mindful.

[Aleksandra]

i come back to this thread ever so often distantly supporting people here and those who have left, the amount of support i received was wonderful and made me feel less alone, but there was one thing that held me back from posting here anymore.

i was accused of lying and being active on social media (which my actual name was posted on here, don't do that to anyone.) on my goodbye thread, when in real-time i was in hospital, hardly able to move due to a failed SN OD and vertigo. it was my ex boyfriend on my phone, going through my search history, messages on social media, etc. i thought i could come back and explain to people what happened after and during but i was already self banned.

i came back and after all the goodbyes, there were a flood of people suggesting i was doing it for attention, or faked it due to «perfect writing» and how «fast the effects took place», i would like to say that just because it took 20 minutes for a few people to pass out, doesn't mean that will be the case for others. this put me off and i decided to just wait to even explain myself because it only hurt to read.

i'm putting this here to tell some of you to please be mindful of people and to not make any assumptions until said person has said something on what looks like a failed attempt. :)

 

[Adamsnolife]

I'm sorry for what you went through. Hope your ok (as well as you can be)

 

[Ardesevent]

That sounds terrible. Have you managed to get the post with your real name taken down, at least?

 

[Eden1505]

i was in hospital, hardly able to move due to a failed SN OD and vertigo.

i'm putting this here to tell some of you to please be mindful of people and to not make any assumptions until said person has said something on what looks like a failed attempt. :)

Have you posted about the details of your failed SN attempt? Would be very interested to know more about it. Peace

 

[Aleksandra]

Have you posted about the details of your failed SN attempt? Would be very interested to know more about it. Peace

i have, it's all logged on my past posts, in comments etc.

That sounds terrible. Have you managed to get the post with your real name taken down, at least?

the person who posted it had removed it but a lot of people messaged me on facebook with presumably throwaway accounts

 

[pentobarbitaldreams]

So you got psychosis from SN? Wow, that sucks. I have schizophrenia, I hope that doesn't happen with my SN attempt. Do you think the psychosis was brought on by the stress of the moment or the physical disorientation that SN was causing? Do you mind describing the disorientation a bit?

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Thats disgusting how they reacted. I feel many people, unless they have been down the path of suicide, don't get it. Many are ignorant and react negatively out of fear and feelings of unknown.

 

[Aleksandra]

So you got psychosis from SN? Wow, that sucks. I have schizophrenia, I hope that doesn't happen with my SN attempt. Do you think the psychosis was brought on by the stress of the moment or the physical disorientation that SN was causing? Do you mind describing the disorientation a bit?

no my psychosis was anxiety induced as i have a phobia of drowning and the best way to describe the muffled sound was like being underwater, so i panicked. it works different for everyone but that was just my experience!

edit: the disorientation was strange, the effects kicked in literally within 5 minutes, this was me thinking it would take 20 like everyone else, my whole body felt like it was floating and i started to not know where i was, then the drowning effect kicked in. my eyes got weird, like fireworks everywhere?? and people were all around me laughing. but that was the psychosis part

Thats disgusting how they reacted. I feel many people, unless they have been down the path of suicide, don't get it. Many are ignorant and react negatively out of fear and feelings of unknown.

i just expected better from this forum. i actually didn't even read all the thread as i just felt invalidated and a disappointment because i failed

 

[SpottedPanda]

I tend not to read goodbye threads, because you can never accurately assess how viable they are.

With that said, it seems sensible to show nothing but compassion and patience when interacting with these threads, as, if they are genuine, the person is likely in a weakened or vulnerable state.

Sorry for what you've been through.

 

[Aleksandra]

I tend not to read goodbye threads, because you can never accurately assess how viable they are.

With that said, it seems sensible to show nothing but compassion and patience when interacting with these threads, as, if they are genuine, the person is likely in a weakened or vulnerable state.

Sorry for what you've been through.

i decided to log off as soon as the disorientation kicked in, my phone has autocorrect and i was not in such a bad state that i couldn't type. one person pointed out it was fishy that i logged out so fast and typed so perfectly. i didn't want to stay logged on during my phase of disorientation at that point, i logged most of how i felt for everyone else, not for me. i would've said goodbye before taking the SN pills and left, but a lot of people wanted to say goodbye and wanted a log of how it is during the process - i would've died if i didn't have a psychotic episode