Help Plausible excuses for buying a sharp knife

[BridgeJumper]

Hello, its me again,
Ive been wanting to buy a really big and sharp knife because Im drawn to the idea of stabbing myself. I know it takes hella willpower to stab yourself and I probably wont be able to do it, but I just wanna practice that to let off a bit of steam. What are some easily believable excuses for getting one from a military shop? I used to buy a lot of rope in the same climbing store because my parents kept taking my ropes away and the cashiers were suspicious. I told them I need to rope for rowing boats and hoped they believe my lie. So if I, being a thin, young girl, go to that shop asking for a huge ass knife wouldnt it be suspicious? O maybe I should get a kitchen cutlery set with big knives from someplace like Ikea? Or perhaps the crafts knives from art store would be enough, too?

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Hello, its me again,
Ive been wanting to buy a really big and sharp knife because Im drawn to the idea of stabbing myself. I know it takes hella willpower to stab yourself and I probably wont be able to do it, but I just wanna practice that to let off a bit of steam. What are some easily believable excuses for getting one from a military shop? I used to buy a lot of rope in the same climbing store because my parents kept taking my ropes away and the cashiers were suspicious. I told them I need to rope for rowing boats and hoped they believe my lie. So if I, being a thin, young girl, go to that shop asking for a huge ass knife wouldnt it be suspicious? O maybe I should get a kitchen cutlery set with big knives from someplace like Ikea? Or perhaps the crafts knives from art store would be enough, too?

If its the same store and you raised suspicion from a rope, don't go back to that store for a knife You can find big ones everywhere although I'd urge you to not.

 

[neilo99]

I take it you can't purchase online?

 

[BridgeJumper]

I cant, I dont have a bank account, always kept my money in my dads account so it would be suspicious af to suddenly tell him I want to open my own.
If I could order online I would just buy SN honestly
And as for being caught in the store, I worded it wrong. I meant the climbing store employees were suspicious after I bought about 10 meters of rope from them in one month. The store I want to buy the knife from is a different one

 

[WelcomingPain]

I don't know about you, but where I live, there are stores that sell knives and don't really question it. You can justify it by explaining to the cashier that you like to collect them. Or, if you're afraid your family/friends will notice, tell them it's for protection.

 

[Jean Améry]

I would not advise the use of a knife to CTB as it seems unnecessarily painful and gory. Plus chances are it won't be succesful.

If you are of an age to legally buy a knife why would you need to offer any explanation at all? If pressed you could say it's for home defense or self-protection in general.

I do not understand why you can't have your own bank account if you're an adult. I can assure you there's nothing suspicious about an adult wanting to have her own bank account.

 

[Hunter100]

I cant, I dont have a bank account, always kept my money in my dads account so it would be suspicious af to suddenly tell him I want to open my own.
If I could order online I would just buy SN honestly
And as for being caught in the store, I worded it wrong. I meant the climbing store employees were suspicious after I bought about 10 meters of rope from them in one month. The store I want to buy the knife from is a different one

Just walk in and buy it. Tell them it's for your man. I would not make a big deal out of it.

 

[Darkhaven]

Depends on where you are.
In Europe it's more difficult.
On the US there is less controll over that.
On the UK it used to easy, but due to the recent knife assaults, they had to legislate and put more restrictions.
I'm also looking for one.
Why don't you say that you practise one of them jungle survival sports?

 

[JimFord99]

Buy a grind stone and then any stupid blunt kitchen knive, wet the stone and sharpen the knife. DIY solution. Takes about an hour to make a decent knife out of a shitty one.

 

[Jean Améry]

Unrelated to your question but legally speaking keeping your money in your father's bank account is dangerous: if he were to claim it's all his how are you ever going to prove some of it is yours?

If you are making money just go to a bank and open your own account. He doesn't even need to know about it.

 

[JimFord99]

True, good point, Jean.

 

[BridgeJumper]

My dad would never fuck me over for money. I know him. Through the 13 years of my depression he always stood by me no matter what stupid shit I did.
Im from Europe. Theres a shop in my town that sells anything you could use in a fight, knives, machetes, guns, rifles etc. We dont have a lot of terrorism going on, I hope I an buy one easily.
Thanks for advice on that grinding thing, Ill try that
Damn Im so nervous. Maybe Ill just steal one of my parents kitchen knives and hide it somewhere. I done that before and returned it back to the drawer after 2 or 3 days and they never noticed.
Again thank you all

 

[passenger27]

If you live in the US I've seen some really nice knives at Walmart in the gun section. You could buy one and they'd barely look at you.

 

[WelcomingPain]

If you live in the US I've seen some really nice knives at Walmart in the gun section. You could buy one and they'd barely look at you.

There's a gun section at Walmart in the US? Damn, y'all be wildin over there

 

[passenger27]

There's a gun section at Walmart in the US? Damn, y'all be wildin over there

Lol yeah it's wild alright. I think they're getting stricter now because seems like there's a mass shooting every day here but they don't mind a bit selling a big knife to you.

 

[WelcomingPain]

Lol yeah it's wild alright. I think they're getting stricter now because seems like there's a mass shooting every day here but they don't mind a bit selling a big knife to you.

Same here in Canada. We don't have fuckin guns at Walmart though. I don't even think there are knives at Walmart. But there are knife stores where you can walk in and buy super big, sharp, retractable knives. I did it without questions when I was 15 (I was also a small, skinny girl and still nobody questioned me). The stores are quite difficult to find though, since they're not very obvious. But yeah, I noticed that you can also buy fireworks off the shelves in the US, which you can't do here either.

 

[passenger27]

Same here in Canada. We don't have fuckin guns at Walmart though. I don't even think there are knives at Walmart. But there are knife stores where you can walk in and buy super big, sharp, retractable knives. I did it without questions when I was 15 (I was also a small, skinny girl and still nobody questioned me). The stores are quite difficult to find though, since they're not very obvious. But yeah, I noticed that you can also buy fireworks off the shelves in the US, which you can't do here either.

I've never been to a knife & gun show so I dunno about what they sell or not. I think they sell those knives though unless whoever told me was bullshitting me. Yeah, you can buy fireworks here but only in certain states. & of course I live in a state where you can't buy them but I can drive 3 & a half hours to the next state & buy the hell out of them.

 

[Ness]

Plausible excuses, should you be asked, can be anything from learning how to use one to it being a Christmas or birthday present to a loved one. I'd use the latter, though, and I suggest asking if there's a chance they can wrap it or if they have a bag that's not see-through because you don't want the receiver of the gift to see it or where you've been shopping. That also has the bonus of hiding your purchase in general and you can "explain" it without even being asked if you feel the need to.