BobbyPellitt
Leap of Faith
- Sep 4, 2019
- 83
A backstory before my rant: When I was a kid, I used to be very active and social. I hangout with friends everyday, had excellent grades and played on the basketball team. However, things drastically changed once I'm in high school. Puberty wasn't very nice to me. I went from average looking to a creepy looking midget. I got bullied relentlessly because of my looks. Almost all my classmates and even teachers all ridiculed me simply because of how I look, including people I thought were my "best" friends all joined in on the fun. They out casted me, made fun of me on a daily basis, giving me nicknames. I was NEVER called by my real name during all my years in high school since people always called me by a demeaning nickname that still haunts me. They laughed and mocked me right in front of my face and I was too much of a pussy to do anything about it since I'm afraid I'll get in trouble. As a result, I completely isolated myself, I become severely depressed, my grades dropped and I put on A LOT of weight. I didn't talk AT ALL in school for the next 2 years. I went from a hyperactive happy social kid to an overweight socially inept creepy looking midget simply because of how I look.
Fast forward to today: I'm now 21 and after dropping out of college twice, acquiring zero acquaintance or any life experience (beside getting shit on by random strangers), never once went out with friends, never invited to any birthday party or event, never had any romantic relationship (or any relationship for that matter) and almost jumped off a bridge (SI kicks in at the last moment), I am back living with my parents who were absent for most part of my life. Now after back being the punching bag and black sheep of my family for another couple of months, my dad decided to give me a surprise gift out of the blue! Plastic surgery. Yaay! My self-righteous religious (coincidence? I think not) parent who always told me that looks aren't everything and it's the inside that counts decided it's a good idea to give me a plastic surgery after I pretty much lost all hope and will to live, planning to CTB very soon. Instead of feeling grateful, I'm very pissed off. You see, despite how ugly I look, I never had an issue about it personally. The problem is how it affects others around me. My parents doesn't seem to understand that changing my look now won't mean anything, all it does is make me realize that even my own parents think I'm ugly as sin. The reason I want a permanent solution like CTB is not because of some temporary problem like looks, but because I'm living in pain every single day of my life and the inside of my head is so fucked up now that changing the outside part of it won't matter anymore.
Fast forward to today: I'm now 21 and after dropping out of college twice, acquiring zero acquaintance or any life experience (beside getting shit on by random strangers), never once went out with friends, never invited to any birthday party or event, never had any romantic relationship (or any relationship for that matter) and almost jumped off a bridge (SI kicks in at the last moment), I am back living with my parents who were absent for most part of my life. Now after back being the punching bag and black sheep of my family for another couple of months, my dad decided to give me a surprise gift out of the blue! Plastic surgery. Yaay! My self-righteous religious (coincidence? I think not) parent who always told me that looks aren't everything and it's the inside that counts decided it's a good idea to give me a plastic surgery after I pretty much lost all hope and will to live, planning to CTB very soon. Instead of feeling grateful, I'm very pissed off. You see, despite how ugly I look, I never had an issue about it personally. The problem is how it affects others around me. My parents doesn't seem to understand that changing my look now won't mean anything, all it does is make me realize that even my own parents think I'm ugly as sin. The reason I want a permanent solution like CTB is not because of some temporary problem like looks, but because I'm living in pain every single day of my life and the inside of my head is so fucked up now that changing the outside part of it won't matter anymore.
