Venting plastic bag plus ketamine - method? Plus venting from my day same old plus draft note again

[LittleJem]

So the method I have in my room is a big plastic furniture bag. I would test it by putting it over my head and seeing how long till oxygen ran out. Then Take ketamine inside of it, with some kind of hairband as a self-closing mechanism and hope that I would be unconscious enough to not know I was suffocating. If it works, I think it is a pain-free method. I don't know how risk free it is of brain damage etc, I don't know how long it takes to suffococation and would the ketamine put me out sufficiently that I would not know it was happening. I also have Xanax which I could take inside.

I can't bring myself to test it yet as I feel so guilty about upsetting family.

And today: agitated suicidal depression all day long. Walked the streets in tears with one or two cans of guinness - I don't drink - I was trying to potentiate the acid. I was on the phone to the Samaritans 3X, the single point of access for mental health 1 X, one hour with support workers telling them I wanted to die, one hour with my fellow inmate at suppported accommodation to him listening to me talk about wanting to die.

Looking over the posts on this forum five years of documented incessant suffering. I am waking up in the night frightened of the next day of suffering.

I wish I could just CTB then I keep thinking of my nieces and my brother being upset.

No-one wants to think of me being tortured constantly but that is what this is....And then if I CTB they will be sad that I am tortured constantly and sad that I CTB.


If I just had the guts I would end this quickly.

Shoudl I try olanzapine? I am worried it will make me even worse.

I know I am posting here a lot and I feel like I am making some drama with calling samaritans etc so often, but I am finding it so hard just to keep suffering.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

honestly the k is more likely to make your body and brain overly aware of what is happening rather than "putting you out". it would also be a waste of xanax. I would reconsider and do more research on what fits for you.

 

[LittleJem]

honestly the k is more likely to make your body and brain overly aware of what is happening rather than "putting you out". it would also be a waste of xanax. I would reconsider and do more research on what fits for you.

There is one news report of a kid (19) who did K and put a plastic bag over his head and he DIED. That's the dream. Others who DIE in the bathtub. It can put you out. The idea is that it lowers your respiratory rate (which it does, right) and then you are not aware of being in your body.

I can hear you have tried it/and or know it's effects so I don't know - maybe you are right. But that is the stuff above as to why I think it could work. I have also tried it. I have not been aware of my body maybe once maybe twice. I don't find it a pleasant drug so it is also torture just taking the stuff, but probably less torture than suffocating.

I can['t handle the taste of SN.

I agree LOL I don't want to waste X as my supplier went rogue and started selling fake shit.

They used to include plastic bag plus sleeping tabs (which X is for me) in the PPEH or whatever it is called.

This is the most comfortable method for me as it would involve being out when it happened. I have tried partial just practising and had no success with it. I have the ami cocktail method in all ingredients, but don['t know if the ami is real. The amount of guilt to swallow that many pills - and that would be a much bigger use of benzos I will never source again.

I don't know if it's a word where you are - I only learned it maybe in the last year - just street slang I didn't know that probably everyone knows. It's long.

the long is the street slang. and it's bleak. and that's the experience of this shit. It is so intolerable and yet here I am putting myself through it another day.

My other methods would be CO - I would have to get a tent or someone with a car. I don't know if I have tecnical know-how or if I will be lucky. It's probably a better method but I can't do it where I live.

I can wish I could use nitrogen but my one brain cell cannot get my head round it.

stuck tortured hate it