Sorry im not a native speaker, cliche i know, but it's important to clarify
Been struggling for a decade now, its not really getting any 'better' and no matter how much promise i saw, my situation is really not changing that much, keep in mind i've been planning to do this for years now, the only reason why i have not done it yet is mainly cowardice or survival instinct, fear of death and all that stuff, and because of that i let my life drag on until i found myself in a checkmate. i always find myself in moments wondering why am i still alive in the past, my dumbass only thought of finally killing myself and now.... erm, sorry for rambling here's my plan, im using a small phone to draw this so it ain't that good of an illustration, im sorry
In the following image is the method im planning to kill myself with, it's the classic hanging but with a twist, for this trick im using the doorframe as my ligature and a necktie as a rope
1.) Is the necktie itself/noose, a classic university necktie, i have tried to use this to hang myself in the past so it isn't the most durable, i tried partial suspension on occasions but i find it hard to fully commit since for some reason i can't find myself to pass out, this necktie is 2 years old
2.) A classic pen, i knotted the pen in the end of the necktie tightly, this will prevent the necktie from sliding down since the size of the pen will prevent it from entering between the doorframe and the door effectively holding the necktie in place, i can make my noose higher if i adjust my knots
3.) The door, an old apartment door, slightly rusty, made cheaply and not by a mastercraftsman, made for college studens like me, im worried about this since im afraid it might break possibly by my weight
4.) The space between the doorframe and the door, this is where my necktie will reside, its thin structure will help it to be placed between the narrow space in the doorframe unlike ropes and belts
Im a broke student so can't buy medicines, nor do i have a good ligature around besides some metal bars in the back balcony, i want to know if my plan works, if not, i can send screenshots of my house for ideas(obviously i would not reveal anything more than that)
Been struggling for a decade now, its not really getting any 'better' and no matter how much promise i saw, my situation is really not changing that much, keep in mind i've been planning to do this for years now, the only reason why i have not done it yet is mainly cowardice or survival instinct, fear of death and all that stuff, and because of that i let my life drag on until i found myself in a checkmate. i always find myself in moments wondering why am i still alive in the past, my dumbass only thought of finally killing myself and now.... erm, sorry for rambling here's my plan, im using a small phone to draw this so it ain't that good of an illustration, im sorry
In the following image is the method im planning to kill myself with, it's the classic hanging but with a twist, for this trick im using the doorframe as my ligature and a necktie as a rope
1.) Is the necktie itself/noose, a classic university necktie, i have tried to use this to hang myself in the past so it isn't the most durable, i tried partial suspension on occasions but i find it hard to fully commit since for some reason i can't find myself to pass out, this necktie is 2 years old
2.) A classic pen, i knotted the pen in the end of the necktie tightly, this will prevent the necktie from sliding down since the size of the pen will prevent it from entering between the doorframe and the door effectively holding the necktie in place, i can make my noose higher if i adjust my knots
3.) The door, an old apartment door, slightly rusty, made cheaply and not by a mastercraftsman, made for college studens like me, im worried about this since im afraid it might break possibly by my weight
4.) The space between the doorframe and the door, this is where my necktie will reside, its thin structure will help it to be placed between the narrow space in the doorframe unlike ropes and belts
Im a broke student so can't buy medicines, nor do i have a good ligature around besides some metal bars in the back balcony, i want to know if my plan works, if not, i can send screenshots of my house for ideas(obviously i would not reveal anything more than that)
