Well this is the second time ive done this but i will not be following through with it tonight. Im currently extremely fucked up on bromaz and soma and feel great temporarily. I see why benzos and soma are so addictive. Although im spending new years alone in my room, my friend reached out today and gave me the opportunity to go to alaska this spring with him which is a dream of mine and id really like to experience it. I will still continue to be depressed and suicidal but atleast I have something to look forward to for now. Will most likely kill myself after though.
I'm glad to hear you now have something to look forward!! I think choosing to CTB'ing need fortitude but you need to be courageous to postpone your CTB plan, too.
And even if you think you're likely to go after the trip, "a step at a time" is okay I think. I support your decision either way.
I hope your days will be a bit less unbearable
Edit: The time after you postponed (didn't completed) CTB is particularly hard I think, so please take care
When the time is right, you'll be ready. In the meantime, be kind to yourself and enjoy what's been presented to you.
Hope things keep turning toward your favor, and that the torment recedes. Please keep us posted! Good luck!
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