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William Barker

William Barker

Experienced
Mar 25, 2020
216
Hello, all. I haven't been on this site for very long, and assuming that all goes according to plan, tomorrow will be my last night.

I feel that I have done my homework sufficiently enough on the SN method. But just in case, here goes:

A few hours before my attempt, I will test the SN with my blood, making sure it turns a dark chocolate brown.

Fast for at least 8 hours.

25gm in 50ml of water (guess tap is good enough).

I have measuring cups and spoons.

Use mouthwash to numb my tastebuds beforehand.

Take a mint afterwards.

Make a back up cup or two just in case I somehow vomit it all up, even though I can still ctb anyway, regardless of vomiting.

Lie down and wait to die.

I have several windows pulled up just for reference, including Stan's guide, but if I've forgotten something or you have something to add, please do. I never claimed to be perfect. Far from it in face.
 
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whereispeace

whereispeace

Member
Mar 18, 2020
95
Good luck. Regardless of what happens, I hope you find peace. My SN arrived today, so I may join you eventually.
 
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William Barker

William Barker

Experienced
Mar 25, 2020
216
Good luck. Regardless of what happens, I hope you find peace. My SN arrived today, so I may join you eventually.
Sure, let's grab a beer or something in the afterlife. I'd like that.

And to quote Peter Pan: "To die will be an awfully big adventure."
 
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William Barker

William Barker

Experienced
Mar 25, 2020
216
Update: Since I have to fast tomorrow, I've chosen to have meatball subs as my last real meal.

I've been watching Supernatural to pass the time and I plan on watching a few of my favorite movies one more time.
 
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one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
@William Barker
You're just using SN with out any other meds?
 
William Barker

William Barker

Experienced
Mar 25, 2020
216
@William Barker
You're just using SN with out any other meds?
Correct. May take some tums half an hour beforehand though.
 
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one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
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William Barker

William Barker

Experienced
Mar 25, 2020
216
I wish you luck and a peaceful journey.
Thank you. I appreciate that. I plan on continuing to update this thread up to my very last breath tomorrow for all those interested.
 
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Rockman

Rockman

Experienced
Feb 9, 2020
208
I wish you find peace.
 
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Myforevercharlie

Myforevercharlie

Global Mod
Feb 13, 2020
3,092
Ill burn a little candle, hope it will guide you to love and warmth..
 
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Rockman

Rockman

Experienced
Feb 9, 2020
208
What lead you to this decision?
 
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William Barker

William Barker

Experienced
Mar 25, 2020
216
What lead you to this decision?
The loss of everything good in my life to sum it up.

Poisenedjuliet knows the full story. And Taran knows just about everything.
 
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randomz

randomz

Specialist
Nov 4, 2019
395
I am sorry life brought uou to this point and I hope you have exhausted all other options to be happy.
 
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D

Deathwish1968

Member
Oct 30, 2019
70
Wish you a peaceful transition and hope you find lots of love on the other side.
 
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Donk

Donk

Useless since day 1
Jan 3, 2020
1,129
wish you a peaceful journey my friend.
 
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William Barker

William Barker

Experienced
Mar 25, 2020
216
"There is a moment in time
When all the cards that you've played divide
You feel the temperature dive
And all your demons inside come crashing through"
 
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Donk

Donk

Useless since day 1
Jan 3, 2020
1,129
Hello, all. I haven't been on this site for very long, and assuming that all goes according to plan, tomorrow will be my last night.

I feel that I have done my homework sufficiently enough on the SN method. But just in case, here goes:

A few hours before my attempt, I will test the SN with my blood, making sure it turns a dark chocolate brown.

Fast for at least 8 hours.

25gm in 50ml of water (guess tap is good enough).

I have measuring cups and spoons.

Use mouthwash to numb my tastebuds beforehand.

Take a mint afterwards.

Make a back up cup or two just in case I somehow vomit it all up, even though I can still ctb anyway, regardless of vomiting.

Lie down and wait to die.

I have several windows pulled up just for reference, including Stan's guide, but if I've forgotten something or you have something to add, please do. I never claimed to be perfect. Far from it in face.

how about painkillers? you can get it anywhere. might as well
 
U

Ulisses

Arcanist
Feb 21, 2020
487
Good luck and peace
 
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applegreenicecream

applegreenicecream

We're not in wonderland anymore, Alice.
Mar 22, 2020
49
Mouthwash to numb. That's interesting. I've not come across that before. Listerine is a killer on the tongue. Might also do that when the time comes to SN.
Your lack of pain killers or sleep inducing meds is making me nervous for you though.
 
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William Barker

William Barker

Experienced
Mar 25, 2020
216
Mouthwash to numb. That's interesting. I've not come across that before. Listerine is a killer on the tongue. Might also do that when the time comes to SN.
Your lack of pain killers or sleep inducing meds is making me nervous for you though.
"Some people use a strong mouthwash to numb their tongue and tastebuds before or after drinking the SN. Or a small piece of confectionery to remove the taste afterwards."

Straight from Ryan's guide.
 
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muffin222

muffin222

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2020
1,188
Best of luck to you and safe travels :heart:
 
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P

President_Drist

Member
Mar 25, 2020
10
Hey William,

How are you? Sad that u came to this point. Did u really tryed everything to feel better?
 
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William Barker

William Barker

Experienced
Mar 25, 2020
216
Hey William,

How are you? Sad that u came to this point. Did u really tryed everything to feel better?
I figure finally ending everything will make me feel better...
 
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William Barker

William Barker

Experienced
Mar 25, 2020
216
Update: feeling kind of lonely. Just watching more supernatural.

My wife is talking to me again, but she's being a bitch. Ugh. I don't want to jump through hoops anymore. I don't want to save my marriage anymore.

Maybe she'll pull that stick out of her ass after I'm gone.

I just don't have any fight left in me. Just no. Let her and the kiddo make due without me.
 
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LilBird

LilBird

Member
Mar 16, 2020
94
Update: feeling kind of lonely. Just watching more supernatural.

My wife is talking to me again, but she's being a bitch. Ugh. I don't want to jump through hoops anymore. I don't want to save my marriage anymore.

Maybe she'll pull that stick out of her ass after I'm gone.

I just don't have any fight left in me. Just no. Let her and the kiddo make due without me.
I feel you.. I plan on heading out tonight.
 
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HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
I figure finally ending everything will make me feel better...
Remember you won't feel anything anymore once you CTB (: stay safe my friend, lots of love ❤️
 
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LilBird

LilBird

Member
Mar 16, 2020
94
Update: feeling kind of lonely. Just watching more supernatural.

My wife is talking to me again, but she's being a bitch. Ugh. I don't want to jump through hoops anymore. I don't want to save my marriage anymore.

Maybe she'll pull that stick out of her ass after I'm gone.

I just don't have any fight left in me. Just no. Let her and the kiddo make due without me.
Everything feels hopeless and like you have absolutely nothing left in you.
 
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