Picture of Happiness

[ToTheNeverland]

It has arrived. I tested it and it is indeed the good stuff. Time to start the countdown. Only two weeks left :)

 

[LastNite]

Wow 1kg? I thought that would be much larger I guess it depends on which form it comes in as but good luck!

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find the peace you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[Alexandra_]

Have a nice trip. I'm happy for you

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

It still must hard,, or are you seemingly prepared,, I hope you can gain your freedom an peace while solace.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

It still must hard,, or are you seemingly prepared,, I hope you can gain your freedom an peace while solace.

I seen this again and I apologies for my terrible grammer, I know I can be better though I'm not great, I meant to put "it still must be hard" I do not want to diminish your feelings with my lack of attentiveness when it came to my post here, not that I needed to address this or bring it up I thought I would just in case because I don't know what your thinking, your pain is real and I did not want to potentially come off towards you in a way that may be perceived by you as though I didn't care because I didn't correct my post, and that's not the case, mabye I'm overthinking again, I get it, differently but man I'm sorry because your pain hasn't ever stopped and I can't say mine has either,, I beg to the moon for courage to free myself, and it physically aches, if you've gotten this far in your plan I genuinely only wish you peace...

 

[darksouls]

godspeed
sending you love and peace

 

[ToTheNeverland]

I seen this again and I apologies for my terrible grammer, I know I can be better though I'm not great, I meant to put "it still must be hard" I do not want to diminish your feelings with my lack of attentiveness when it came to my post here, not that I needed to address this or bring it up I thought I would just in case because I don't know what your thinking, your pain is real and I did not want to potentially come off towards you in a way that may be perceived by you as though I didn't care because I didn't correct my post, and that's not the case, mabye I'm overthinking again, I get it, differently but man I'm sorry because your pain hasn't ever stopped and I can't say mine has either,, I beg to the moon for courage to free myself, and it physically aches, if you've gotten this far in your plan I genuinely only wish you peace...

It is alright, I don't think what you said was insensitive. Now that I have only a week or so before the date, the reality of my looming death kind of settled onto my mind. At times it can be quite suffocating, going through the motions as I wait for it with a quiet determination. As it comes closer, I become more and more impatient to get it over with, like ripping out a band aid but I have to stop and make sure I have got everything handled before I go. I keep finding myself imagining a form of afterlife every other five minutes, wondering how it would be like when I am gone and the idea of anything but a deep, dreamless sleep feels terrifying. I don't think it is really about courage, I have never been really brave at any point in my life; its just that about a month ago a switch went off in my brain and I knew, whatever else happened in the future, I don't wish to be here for another summer and that was pretty much it. I don't wish to question it any further than that, maybe because I am afraid of my death or maybe because I am afraid of changing my mind, I don't really know. Remembering what got me to this point makes me feel like I don't need to know, the decision is made and I have accepted it. All I need to do now is to prepare and deal with it.
Sorry about my rambling, it just kind of came out of me as I read your message. Yeah, it is hard; hardest thing I have ever done. Hopefully it will also be the last. Thank you, I hope you can find a way through your pain.

 

[gottacheckout]

I hope your journey is peaceful