Personality disorders

[sserafim]

Do you have any personality disorders? And if so, what? Also, if you want to ctb, do you think your personality disorder is a factor in you wanting to do so?

 

[Microwave]

Might do. Been referred to the personality disorder service of my local mental health services.

 

[aiki__0]

I have BPD and only got diagnosed a year ago

 

[leloyon]

I have been told by some people that I have a personality disorder. Personally, I would be shocked if I didn't, but thus far I haven't been diagnosed with one. I'm seeing a psychiatrist soon though, so perhaps I should approach them about it.

 

[bpdbunnygirl]

I have BPD and its so awful to live with

 

[sserafim]

I have been told by some people that I have a personality disorder. Personally, I would be shocked if I didn't, but thus far I haven't been diagnosed with one. I'm seeing a psychiatrist soon though, so perhaps I should approach them about it.

What do they think you have, and do you agree with it? I haven't been diagnosed with any either, but I think I might have one as well (schizoid and/or avoidant pd's). Honestly, who knows though…

I have BPD and its so awful to live with

Sorry to hear that. I heard borderline was rough

 

[AloeGarten]

i have avpd, it isnt talked about much but it fucking sucks. ive missed out on so much of life because of it

 

[sserafim]

i have avpd, it isnt talked about much but it fucking sucks. ive missed out on so much of life because of it

Sorry to hear that it's made you miss out on life. I've been reading up on avpd and it seems like I most probably have it. Granted I have social anxiety and other conditions too…btw, do you have a desire to interact with others and talk to people tho? I don't (well not anymore at least, and not in person), so I'm not sure if I actually have this…

How does avpd manifest for you? What is it like for you?

 

[darksoul]

schizoid, it's a though life

 

[sserafim]

schizoid, it's a though life

I think I'm schizoid as well…how does it manifest for you? For me I'm aroace, don't want a boyfriend (never even had one, lmao), don't want to talk to or interact with other people, and honestly just want to be left alone. I don't have any friends (well not anymore), and I don't need them. I actually enjoy being by myself and being alone.

I don't want to participate in society either, I just want to be by myself. I want to be alone on a mountaintop, far away from the rest of society.

 

[darksoul]

I think I'm schizoid as well…how does it manifest for you? For me I'm aroace, don't want a boyfriend (never even had one, lmao), don't want to talk to or interact with other people, and honestly just want to be left alone. I don't have any close friends (well not anymore), and I don't need them. I actually enjoy being by myself and being alone. I don't want to participate in society either, I just want to be by myself. I want to be alone on a mountaintop, far away from the rest of society.

Sort of similair. For me it is: isolation, recluse, little interest in friendships, little to no motivation to meet people, lack of apathy, live in head, blunted emotions and anhedonia.

I don't feel lonely because there is no real desire to meet people. Like living your life in 3rd person while not really participating in it all.

Did you grow up in an abusive home situation or were neglected?

 

[sserafim]

Sort of similair. For me it is: isolation, recluse, little interest in friendships, little to no motivation to meet people, lack of apathy, live in head, blunted emotions and anhedonia.

I don't feel lonely because there is no real desire to meet people. Like living your life in 3rd person while not really participating in it all.

Did you grow up in an abusive home situation or were neglected?

Were you always like this? I think I only became schizoid since last year. Before that, I had friends and interacted with them, but I slowly made the friendships fade away by just not replying anymore. I self-isolated from others. But honestly I don't think I ever really needed friends anyways, I just had them because it was nice to have them.

I don't think I grew up in an abusive household. I always had enough to eat and drink, and lived a pretty comfortable childhood. Money was never an issue. However, I think the emotional side was lacking. I think I was probably neglected emotionally. I'm pretty sure both of my parents have some sort of personality disorder but I'm not sure exactly what.

I also have adhd, asd, social anxiety, and other conditions as well so I'm not sure if they're a factor in me eventually becoming schizoid. I think at some point I stopped trying to be social and realized that I actually enjoy and prefer being alone

 

[darksoul]

Were you always like this? I think I only became schizoid since last year. Before that, I had friends and interacted with them, but I slowly made the friendships fade away by just not replying anymore. I self-isolated from others. But honestly I don't think I ever really needed friends anyways, I just had them because it was nice to have them.

I don't think I grew up in an abusive household. I always had enough to eat and drink, and lived a pretty comfortable childhood. Money was never an issue. However, I think the emotional side was lacking. I think I was probably neglected emotionally. I'm pretty sure both of my parents have some sort of personality disorder but I'm not sure exactly what.

I also have adhd, asd, social anxiety, and other conditions as well so I'm not sure if they're a factor in me eventually becoming schizoid. I think at some point I stopped trying to be social and realized that I actually enjoy and prefer being alone

No, although there were signs even when I was little. Much of this could have been prevented if I had caring/supporting parents instead of drugs/alcohol abusing ones who did not care for their children. I guess my mind slowly detached to safe itself from the pain (mental and psychical). There was a time I had friends but this all faded away when I entered my teens.

There is a thing called secret schizoids where people mask their personality and behave with interested, engaged, and involved interaction yet remain emotionally withdrawn and sequestered within the safety of the internal world.

Why did you not reply anymore? Were these real friends or just people you hung around with?

Do you have anhedonia?

Were there early signs you noticed?

 

[AloeGarten]

Sorry to hear that it's made you miss out on life. I've been reading up on avpd and it seems like I most probably have it. Granted I have social anxiety and other conditions too…btw, do you have a desire to interact with others and talk to people tho? I don't (well not anymore at least, and not in person), so I'm not sure if I actually have this…

How does avpd manifest for you? What is it like for you?

i have social anxiety too, i dont really have much of a desire to interact, though i still get lonely and wish i was able to socailise normally, but i have mostly lost interest. i think thats more on the schizoid side of things, i dont have schizoid pd but some people with avpd show a lot of schizoid traits. avpd seems to manifest as a lot of anxiety, some general but mostly social for me, and just generally overthinking things, low confidence, just an irrational fear of people and interaction, which leads to avoidance and isolation

 

[darksoul]

i have social anxiety too, i dont really have much of a desire to interact, though i still get lonely and wish i was able to socailise normally, but i have mostly lost interest. i think thats more on the schizoid side of things, i dont have schizoid pd but some people with avpd show a lot of schizoid traits. avpd seems to manifest as a lot of anxiety, some general but mostly social for me, and just generally overthinking things, low confidence, just an irrational fear of people and interaction, which leads to avoidance and isolation

There is a theory that unkept AVPD that is not threated can eventually morph into schizoid over time. The mind will protect itself this way.

The desire for socialization turns into not caring because the need cannot be met. Slowly adopting other schizoid traits as well.

 

[RealitySurf]

Borderline Personality Disorder and yes, for me it is a big reason to ctb

 

[Embalmer]

Do you have any personality disorders? And if so, what? Also, if you want to ctb, do you think your personality disorder is a factor in you wanting to do so?

Diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder, and I don't necessarily think it is a factor in me wanting to CTB. Most likely the lack of desire to be around other people/make relationships causing me to isolate myself a lot probably doesn't help my mental state, but I don't want to CTB cuz of it. I was always that way and genuinely enjoy being alone so it doesn't really bother me. I do get jealous in a way since I feel like I'm missing out on the normal things people my age do but at the same time, I know I'd absolutely hate those kinds of things.

 

[sserafim]

Sort of similair. For me it is: isolation, recluse, little interest in friendships, little to no motivation to meet people, lack of apathy, live in head, blunted emotions and anhedonia.

I don't feel lonely because there is no real desire to meet people. Like living your life in 3rd person while not really participating in it all.

Did you grow up in an abusive home situation or were neglected?

Were you always like this? I think I only became schizoid since last year. Before that, I had friends and interacted with them, but I slowly made the friendships fade away by just not replying anymore. I self-isolated from ithrs

I don't think I grew up in an abusive home situation. I always had enough to eat and drink, and lived a pretty comfortable childhood. Money was never an issue. However, I think the emotional side was lacking. I think I was probably neglected emotionally. I also have adhd, asd, and other conditions as well so I'm not sure if they're a factor in me eventually being schizoid. I think at some point I stopped trying to be social and realized that I actually enjoy being alone

No, although there were signs even when I was little. Much of this could have been prevented if I had caring/supporting parents instead of drugs/alcohol abusing ones who did not care for their children. I guess my mind slowly detached to safe itself from the pain (mental and psychical). There was a time I had friends but this all faded away when I entered my teens.

There is a thing called secret schizoids where people mask their personality and behave with interested, engaged, and involved interaction yet remain emotionally withdrawn and sequestered within the safety of the internal world.

Why did you not reply anymore? Were these real friends or just people you hung around with?

Do you have anhedonia?

Were there early signs you noticed?

I remember in high school I had an IQ test for ADHD/ASD eval and I said I "preferred to be alone". The examiner wrote that I "preferred to be on my own and tended towards seclusion". I've never been a social butterfly, and I've always had issues connecting or interacting with others (due to ASD). I've always only had a few close friends and I think I was the loner stereotype.

I think they were true friends, but I never really got emotionally invested in the friendship, or "opened up" if that makes sense. I have trust issues and probably trauma/ptsd tho due to being bullied in middle school, but still. I kept them at a distance, like I keep all people. I think I'm probably a secret schizoid. I'm emotionally withdrawn and never really emotionally connect with others. I don't show my true self to others

I just didn't reply anymore bc it was tiring keeping up the friendship. Honestly having to interact with other people tires me bc I always have to put up a mask and facade. I always feel like I'm acting and playing a part. I'm not good at maintaining friendships tho, mine have fizzled away over time bc it's just hard to maintain them

Now I have anhedonia but probs bc I'm depressed haha. My mom says that she doesn't think I have any hobbies tho…

There is a theory that unkept AVPD that is not threated can eventually morph into schizoid over time. The mind will protect itself this way.

The desire for socialization turns into not caring because the need cannot be met. Slowly adopting other schizoid traits as well.

This is probably what's happening to me…

 

[dumblosergirl]

I have borderline personality disorder and suffering from it is one of the major reason why I have CTB thoughts. It sucks when I constantly worry about how other people percieve me and feel constantly worried about if they will leave me or not. Also, with being unsure about who you are as a person is another element that sucks about BPD.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

diagnosed with bpd but i dont rly agree, idk maybe i do have it i have no idea. self diagnosed avpd. both are major factors in my need to ctb, probably more so avpd.

 

[Dead Horse]

I have AvPD that I suspect has turned into Scizoid through the years. I'd love to be normal, have friendships, relationships etc, but people fill me with anxiety, so isolation may be the lesser evil for me. I don't really crave human connection at this point, but I've been so isolated for so many years that it's possible I just don't know any better.

 

[Temporal_Anchorite]

BPD w/ NPD traits here. I was in denial for a while and thought I had AvPD for quite some time, but I'm far too hostile, argumentative, disagreeable, erratic, impulsive, and unempathetic to align with the pathological traits & features of AvPD. I guess I'm just a Cluster B with really shit social skills or more pronounced introversion, maybe both.

 

[Erik.t.f]

Schizoid, it makes my life meaningless but I don't really mind it since i get to be alone

I don't think any of the symptoms are bad if you can be left alone since every problem with it is when im around people and I get some meds for the daydreaming but I enjoy that part of the PD

Like it's sucks that my life is meaningless but overall it's not a problem for me

 

[sserafim]

BPD w/ NPD traits here. I was in denial for a while and thought I had AvPD for quite some time, but I'm far too hostile, argumentative, disagreeable, erratic, impulsive, and unempathetic to align with the pathological traits & features of AvPD. I guess I'm just a Cluster B with really shit social skills or more pronounced introversion, maybe both.

How did you know that you were borderline?

Schizoid, it makes my life meaningless but I don't really mind it since i get to be alone

I don't think any of the symptoms are bad if you can be left alone since every problem with it is when im around people and I get some meds for the daydreaming but I enjoy that part of the PD

Like it's sucks that my life is meaningless but overall it's not a problem for me

Yeah I love being alone, but the problem is that my parents expect me to get a job and enter the workforce eventually. I wish I could just stay home, isolated from society, but eventually I'm gonna have to participate in society and I don't want to…

 

[Erik.t.f]

How did you know that you were borderline?

Yeah I love being alone, but the problem is that my parents expect me to get a job and enter the workforce eventually. I wish I could just stay home, isolated from society, but eventually I'm gonna have to participate in society and I don't want to…

I just cut if contact with my family and sad fuck you to society, if your schizoid I would kinda recommend it

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I was diagnosed as BPD. But that's given out like Oprah and cars.

 

[darksoul]

How did you know that you were borderline?

Yeah I love being alone, but the problem is that my parents expect me to get a job and enter the workforce eventually. I wish I could just stay home, isolated from society, but eventually I'm gonna have to participate in society and I don't want to…

Get a work from home job?

What don't you like about participanting in society?

 

[sserafim]

Get a work from home job?

What don't you like about participanting in society?

Yeah I'm thinking abt being a programmer or something

Idk, I never felt like a part of society in the first place or like I fit into it. I always felt like an outsider, and I don't want to have to fit the mold if that makes sense. I don't belong in society and I don't want to have to participate in it. Society was not made for people like me (neurodivergent people, especially people on the spectrum) so I don't see a point in participating in it. I don't want to be somewhere I don't belong. For me, participating in society is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. It's never gonna work. Also I hate seeing people and interacting with them irl. I just don't like talking to or being around people

 

[SmollMushroom]

I don't know! I wish mental care was taken more seriously in my country, but it isn't.
I've been to multiple therapists and psychiatries but they say I'm fine. But obviously I'm not.
I made some online tests and it says I'm around 50% on the spectrum. And I do some of the things autistic people do (like stimming and stuff).
It's just that you don't get proper attention around here from doctors unless you are completely detached from reality. Guess I'll jump on their desk at the next appointment.

 

[sserafim]

I don't know! I wish mental care was taken more seriously in my country, but it isn't.
I've been to multiple therapists and psychiatries but they say I'm fine. But obviously I'm not.
I made some online tests and it says I'm around 50% on the spectrum. And I do some of the things autistic people do (like stimming and stuff).
It's just that you don't get proper attention around here from doctors unless you are completely detached from reality. Guess I'll jump on their desk at the next appointment.

For me my autism/Asperger's manifests more as social difficulties rather than stimming or love of structure/order. I have trouble interacting with others, social cues and body language are literally foreign to me. The little social skills I had disintegrated due to lockdown, so I basically have zero social skills now lmao. I also have adhd as well so maybe that changed how it presents…