Story Personal Experience: Suicide Attempt via Overdose of 6.4 mg of Sublingual Fentanyl. Why I'm Still Alive.

[mute656]

Hi everyone. I decided to share my experience in detail because online discussions often focus on doses and methods but rarely describe what actually happens and why things can go wrong. My case is a clear example.

About me:
20-year-old male, weight 90 kg, no tolerance to opioids.

What happened:

· Substance taken: Fentanyl, Aristo tablets, 800 mcg each.
· Amount: 8 tablets (total 6.4 mg). For reference: the lethal dose is considered to be around 2 mg for a person with no tolerance.
· Method of administration: I placed 4 tablets under my upper lip and 4 under my lower lip (sublingually). Time: around 1-2 AM.

What I felt (the last thing I remember):
The effect began within three minutes. It wasn't scary; it felt more like a rapid and complete "shutdown." Then — blackout.

What happened to me (based on my father's account, who found me):
He went to the bathroom around 4-5 AM and heard strange gurgling sounds from my room. When he forced the door open, he found me unconscious. His description: I was blueish-white, not breathing, and completely unresponsive. An empty tablet blister pack was nearby.

The most critical part — what happened next (the chain of rescue):

1. Immediate CPR. My father, following instructions from the emergency operator, started chest compressions. He said I wasn't breathing at all, but when he pressed on my chest, I sometimes made gurgling sounds.
2. Arrival of the first ambulance (~5 minutes later). They used a defibrillator (meaning my heart rhythm was already dangerously disturbed). They immediately administered an injection (most likely naloxone, the opioid antidote) and put an oxygen mask on me.
3. Arrival of a second, reinforced medical team (another 5 minutes later). They administered additional medication, placed me on a stretcher, and transported me to the intensive care unit.
4. In the hospital, doctors spoke of a critical condition and the potential for irreversible brain damage due to prolonged oxygen deprivation. However, by sheer chance, that was avoided. I regained consciousness in the hospital, diagnosed with pneumonia and unable to take a full breath. There were also some changes noted in my heart. I remained hospitalized for a month before being discharged. Fortunately, this episode left no apparent neur
ological consequences.

I hope this account is useful for those analyzing similar situations. Feel free to ask if you have any questions.

 

[egyptian_baddie]

I am so sorry you experienced this, thank you for telling us your experience, hope you find peace!

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

I'm sorry. You almost made it. I haven't even come close to what you've achieved. She's right there, so close. I really love the idea of not existing. How long will I endure this? It's already been six decades. Will I wait for life to annihilate me the way it usually does? In bed, weak, with feces all over my body... I feel powerless against this damned instinct. I know the game, I know what life is and what it will do randomly as it does to everyone, and yet I'm still here. thank you for telling us your experience

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Were you frustrated when you woke up?

Are you going to attempt again using this method?

 

[mute656]

Were you frustrated when you woke up?

Are you going to attempt again using this method?

Yes, I was disappointed.

I want to try SN, as it seems to me like a more reliable method.

 

[meddle]

Yes, I was disappointed.

I want to try SN, as it seems to me like a more reliable method.

if someone finds you after you take sn you can be saved too

so i would advice to find a place, where no one will find you for a couple of hours

 

[PartyDress]

I'd never be able to forgive anyone who had a hand in resuscitating me.

 

[Forveleth]

Sounds like they heard you agonal breathing. I am sorry it did not work out for you. Thank you for sharing your experience.

 

[AnonymousL]

Yes, I was disappointed.

I want to try SN, as it seems to me like a more reliable method.

SN is a long process.
I wish I had access to fentanyl. Seems a lot easier. Pretty Sure it would have worked if u didn't get found.

 

[madameviolette]

You're lucky to not have had severe withdrawal and addiction

Sorry your plans didn't work. These tablets seem manufactured in Germany. Are you from there ?

 

[mute656]

You're lucky to not have had severe withdrawal and addiction

Sorry your plans didn't work. These tablets seem manufactured in Germany. Are you from there ?

I'm from Ukraine, I just found a good supplier on the darknet.

You misunderstood a little. I have never used opioids, and during that attempt, I didn't feel any high. I just instantly passed out and woke up in the hospital.

 

[DeathByBananabread]

"What I felt (the last thing I remember):
The effect began within three minutes. It wasn't scary; it felt more like a rapid and complete "shutdown." Then — blackout."

oh my god, that sounds ideal. i'm sorry it didn't work out for you.
interesting how being seemingly almost dead for 2 hours didn't leave any lasting neurological consequences. that's my biggest worry and nightmare.

 

[rabbitjack]

Demi lovato seems to also have OD'd on fentanyl. She bought heroine laced with fentanyl and also crack. But I think it was the fentanyl that caused her heart attack, 3 strokes, and brain damage. But she was blue when they found her, so I think they narcan'd you before it got worse.

The complications sound awful to live with, especially the brain damage, but the process sounds peaceful. Correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[orbwithinorb]

Thank you for taking the time to write this out, OP. Seemed like it was completely painless as you just passed out immediately.

I'm from Ukraine, I just found a good supplier on the darknet.

You misunderstood a little. I have never used opioids, and during that attempt, I didn't feel any high. I just instantly passed out and woke up in the hospital.

I was under the impression that Fent isn't that easy to get on the dark web. This supplier has positive reviews from people? If it's ok with you can I dm you for the source?

 

[mute656]

Thank you for taking the time to write this out, OP. Seemed like it was completely painless as you just passed out immediately.

I was under the impression that Fent isn't that easy to get on the dark web. This supplier has positive reviews from people? If it's ok with you can I dm you for the source?

Yes, write me a private message

 

[notreallybored]

Demi lovato seems to also have OD'd on fentanyl. She bought heroine laced with fentanyl and also crack. But I think it was the fentanyl that caused her heart attack, 3 strokes, and brain damage. But she was blue when they found her, so I think they narcan'd you before it got worse.

The complications sound awful to live with, especially the brain damage, but the process sounds peaceful. Correct me if I'm wrong.

ב''ה, just because y'all are weird here.. cocaine in all its forms (as with the other 'hard' 'stimulants' though perhaps slightly moreso just for rapidity of onset treating things less gently, most ways blow is used are slightly more like jumping up and running a marathon compared to getting to the same and worse over an extra 30 minutes so our hypothetical psychonaut takes too much with the tweaky substances that otherwise have a vaguely similar chemical result).

There's always the thing where cocaethanol or whatever formed while drinking alcohol with cocaine is specifically cardiotoxic though if you've ever been to a bar or nightclub this seems partially overstated but may explain problems later in life or an extra reason why people with access to absurd quantities don't always survive their evenings partying.

In practical terms if something is going to jar loose or tear while 'running a marathon' the blood pressure and so on changes from blow or crack may particularly do it, not as a sure thing any more than four pots of coffee but, for stuff like stroke don't discount it and maybe stick to a Mediterranean diet and some fitness if you're going to play with the stuff and don't want that.

Meanwhile, while it's possible that stuff might jazz someone up or keep them alert to be stuck consciously breathing in the comedown high norepinephrine phase.. powerful opiate receptor action from the opiates can suppress breathing, and dopamine is weird so in the fun or beyond fun to high phase being cracked out or whatever may only contribute to being too high to remember to breathe. And nodding off forgetting to breathe.. eventually the heart isn't going to like that either.

Now, I don't understand this fully, but one of the things with the cocaine side of things is that particularly with enough of it around the 'high' can eventually turn into epileptic type activity if there's just so much dopamine being inhibited from reuptake and floating around in the synapses to the point that 'wires get crossed,' and this can throw the heart out of rhythm and that's gotten some of the people who've gone from cocaine alone.

Meanwhile if anything is injected, heroin or fentanyl or coke or whatever, that's potentially got particles that can irritate the vascular system or form a stroke etc.

So just trying to tell it like it is. Particularly because stroke is unpleasant, so, y'know, is it vasoconstriction from excitement (artificial or not) that maybe shakes a plaque loose or busts a blood vessel to cause stroke, or is it crap from an injection also getting somewhere to clog something up that contributes, or did all that happen in the hopefully unconscious death throes later, who knows.

But, y'know, someone drinks four pots of coffee, runs a marathon, maybe gets a heart murmur during that so they fall and get run over by a bus coming around a blind corner, what killed them?

 

[darksouls]

Yes, I was disappointed.

I want to try SN, as it seems to me like a more reliable method.

I am very sorry for your suffering, I hope you find peace

 

[ovaltinee99]

Based on anecdotal reports I've read, the process of dying via opioids takes a long time. Passing out doesn't mean death. I've read accounts of people waking up a day or two after an OD. Anyone who wants to exit this way should make sure they're not found for 2-3 days.

 

[Luther84]

I am confused? Like 2 hours after you were found and saved? How long does F take to be effective?

 

[cluefixphantom]

So if the fentanyl came from a darknet dealer, it might be fake/rapedrug or was underdosed, which is why it didn't work as expected. There was already a case in Germany where an older man died within 2 to 3 days, from three F patches. His wife was suspected of murdering him.

Prozess in Köln: Mann stirbt wegen Fentanyl-Pflastern

Vor dem Kölner Amtsgericht muss sich eine 87 Jahre alte Frau wegen fahrlässiger Tötung verantworten. Sie soll ihrem Partner unabsichtlich eine Überdosis Schmerzmittel verabreicht haben.

www1.wdr.de

People around who can try to save your life are very dangerous, it can lead to severe brain damage. I consider CO poisoning as a method where any rescue would also be extremely harmful.

 

[HD72]

I'm sorry. You almost made it. I haven't even come close to what you've achieved. She's right there, so close. I really love the idea of not existing. How long will I endure this? It's already been six decades. Will I wait for life to annihilate me the way it usually does? In bed, weak, with feces all over my body... I feel powerless against this damned instinct. I know the game, I know what life is and what it will do randomly as it does to everyone, and yet I'm still here. thank you for telling us your experience

I am going thru the same thing never ending pain too sick to get out and get supplies to go. I wish we could join forces and go together. I can't take this pain.

 

[copioushopelessness]

I am confused? Like 2 hours after you were found and saved? How long does F take to be effective?

It's effective almost immediately to immediately depending on how it's administered. People assume death happens quickly but that's not always the case.
Thank you for this very detailed informative post! I wish I had seen this before I went on my rants earlier.
People assume death happens quickly with fentanyl but that's not always the case. I've also been in situations where I've been gurgling for hours until it wore off. Sometimes you're fully unconscious and need medical intervention, other times you're in and out of consciousness and can somehow survive without medical intervention. I hope that anyone considering an od sees this because it's not a guaranteed death. Then you have it on your medical record, or even worse could get in legal trouble for having substances, could get the suppliers in trouble too then have enemies.

Based on anecdotal reports I've read, the process of dying via opioids takes a long time. Passing out doesn't mean death. I've read accounts of people waking up a day or two after an OD. Anyone who wants to exit this way should make sure they're not found for 2-3 days.

Thank you for pointing this out. I got frustrated that people don't understand this.
They say my friend died quickly but that's only because he took an insane amount. It usually takes quite a while. I've survived fentanyl ods without narcan and it's not as comfortable as people assume.

Thank you for taking the time to write this out, OP. Seemed like it was completely painless as you just passed out immediately.

I was under the impression that Fent isn't that easy to get on the dark web. This supplier has positive reviews from people? If it's ok with you can I dm you for the source?

It's not always completely comfortable though. There definitely can be some discomfort. Don't always immediately pass out and even if you do you can be in and out of consciousness feeling like crap.

Demi lovato seems to also have OD'd on fentanyl. She bought heroine laced with fentanyl and also crack. But I think it was the fentanyl that caused her heart attack, 3 strokes, and brain damage. But she was blue when they found her, so I think they narcan'd you before it got worse.

The complications sound awful to live with, especially the brain damage, but the process sounds peaceful. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Not always peaceful.

oh my god, that sounds ideal. i'm sorry it didn't work out for you.
interesting how being seemingly almost dead for 2 hours didn't leave any lasting neurological consequences. that's my biggest worry and nightmare.

Not always ideal, I've been aware of the gurgling before and struggling to breathe was no fun. Also the puking. A lot of ods aren't even caused by the drug but by choking on vomit which is painful. Opiates make people puke like crazy.

SN is a long process.
I wish I had access to fentanyl. Seems a lot easier. Pretty Sure it would have worked if u didn't get found.

But this was also a long process no?

SN is a long process.
I wish I had access to fentanyl. Seems a lot easier. Pretty Sure it would have worked if u didn't get found.

But this was also a long process no?

You're lucky to not have had severe withdrawal and addiction

Sorry your plans didn't work. These tablets seem manufactured in Germany. Are you from there ?

Withdrawal and addiction typically doesn't happen within one use. Shitty hangover sure but to have severe withdrawal you'd already have to be addicted, unless narcanned then yeah that causes instant Withdrawal. A lot of people just sleep it off or just feel high for a while and feel fine after shortly after. To get addicted to something after one use you'd have to be genetically predisposed to addiction. After a few uses yeah addiction can start to set in, but severe withdrawal is usually for heavy users.

 

[etherealgoddess]

You're lucky to not have had severe withdrawal and addiction

Sorry your plans didn't work. These tablets seem manufactured in Germany. Are you from there ?

Hey, I saw your profile that said that you took prescribed medications that made you sick. If you don't want to answer this, I'm fine. I'm just curious what happened?

 

[copioushopelessness]

Sounds like they heard you agonal breathing. I am sorry it did not work out for you. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Agonal breathing SUCKS because sometimes you're aware of it. In and out.

Agonal breathing SUCKS because sometimes you're aware of it. In and out.

I take that back agonal breathing is typically unconscious but there definitely can be a lot of gurgling and struggling to breathe while still aware. Or strange moan sounds that aren't like regular moans as the body fades in and out. My dad with lung cancer was agonal breathing for many hours but he still opened his eyes before taking his last breath even though he was unconscious for awhile on xanax and morphine.

Agonal breathing SUCKS because sometimes you're aware of it. In and out.

I take that back agonal breathing is typically unconscious but there definitely can be a lot of gurgling and struggling to breathe while still aware. Or strange moan sounds that aren't like regular moans as the body fades in and out. My dad with lung cancer was agonal breathing for many hours but he still opened his eyes before taking his last breath even though he was unconscious for awhile on xanax and morphine.

But he also was the type to need extra anesthesia for procedures. Some people have this strong will to keep coming back to consciousness. I've been in and out of consciousness from my medical conditions but also from substances.

 

[HD72]

It's effective almost immediately to immediately depending on how it's administered. People assume death happens quickly but that's not always the case.
Thank you for this very detailed informative post! I wish I had seen this before I went on my rants earlier.
People assume death happens quickly with fentanyl but that's not always the case. I've also been in situations where I've been gurgling for hours until it wore off. Sometimes you're fully unconscious and need medical intervention, other times you're in and out of consciousness and can somehow survive without medical intervention. I hope that anyone considering an od sees this because it's not a guaranteed death. Then you have it on your medical record, or even worse could get in legal trouble for having substances, could get the suppliers in trouble too then have enemies.

Thank you for pointing this out. I got frustrated that people don't understand this.
They say my friend died quickly but that's only because he took an insane amount. It usually takes quite a while. I've survived fentanyl ods without narcan and it's not as comfortable as people assume.

It's not always completely comfortable though. There definitely can be some discomfort. Don't always immediately pass out and even if you do you can be in and out of consciousness feeling like crap.

Not always peaceful.

Not always ideal, I've been aware of the gurgling before and struggling to breathe was no fun. Also the puking. A lot of ods aren't even caused by the drug but by choking on vomit which is painful. Opiates make people puke like crazy.

But this was also a long process no?

But this was also a long process no?

Withdrawal and addiction typically doesn't happen within one use. Shitty hangover sure but to have severe withdrawal you'd already have to be addicted, unless narcanned then yeah that causes instant Withdrawal. A lot of people just sleep it off or just feel high for a while and feel fine after shortly after. To get addicted to something after one use you'd have to be genetically predisposed to addiction. After a few uses yeah addiction can start to set in, but severe withdrawal is usually for heavy users.

Apparently you haven't heard of akathisia.