Discussion People over 40

[Over&out]

49, 50 in the summer, which i don't expect to see

 

[astaeste2021]

You should have made the title "people over 40 what keeps you going?". I think this would have helped the kids as well because we can give good advice on many subjects.

I just want to rest. I want to go back to wherever it is that people/ animals come from or go to besides this shit box. I believe fully that we came here on purpose and have a reason to be here and no that doesn't make this crap any easier to deal with. I also believe that we go back to that same place when we finally fucking die wether it's now at any age or a long time from now. This life matters and being here matters very very much.

What keeps me going is the same things as anyone else. Fear, curiosity, hope, the few people I love and love me, seeing another sunrise-sunset, watching the rain, enjoying the little addictions in life in general.

I think the question is also "is it worth it to go on?". I dont have a good answer for that for myself. Then you have to realize that the individuals situation makes a huge difference as we see here on a site like this. One persons "meaningless and stupid reason" to want to die is from their point of view breaking their heart and causing them real pain. That pain is real for all of us. Its good to keep trying to remember that.

True. I should have made the title "People over 40 what keeps you going?"

 

[Choronzon]

51, had persistent depressive disorder for decades. At this point, the way age influences my thinking is, you know, considering everything, even given how frequently I evaluate myself as a horrible failure, my overall effect on other people is a net positive. 50 years really ought to be enough. But I'll never have any real break from the mindless capitalistic hamster wheel, never be able to develop my other interests because depression means I barely have the will to do my job, so I feel like I should have permission societally to CTB.

Mostly what keeps me around is knowing how those who care about me would feel. I have lost someone dear to me to suicide, and it is one of the top three most horrible things I have ever endured. 20 years later, it still hurts to recall. And she had a peaceful exit with pills and booze.

So, I dunno. I'm still here. I'm starting ketamine treatment soon, and if that works, maybe I'll leave here for being too happy and well-adjusted. But that also might run me out of money, and then CTB looks pretty good again. If that doesn't work, I'm pretty well just done with trying to fuck around trying to find some treatment that works.

 

[MyOwnWorstEnemy]

Are there any people who are over 40 here?

Mid forties

 

[Quinlor]

I am 37 and I ready to die unfortunately...

 

[GarageKarate07]

True. I should have made the title "People over 40 what keeps you going?"

There's no harm done. It's on the board and people have figured it out. It's a good question though. Also we can advise our mistakes up until this point and maybe some will sink in for others. We can't make the world a better place unfortunately. If only we could. Too much hardships for all of us at any age. Its just sad. However if there is a spark left for some of us then this is a good thing also. The weather where I live was fantastic today. If I would have died months ago I would not be here to see it. Makes me cry knowing I will miss more days of just amazing weather and scenery.

51, had persistent depressive disorder for decades. At this point, the way age influences my thinking is, you know, considering everything, even given how frequently I evaluate myself as a horrible failure, my overall effect on other people is a net positive. 50 years really ought to be enough. But I'll never have any real break from the mindless capitalistic hamster wheel, never be able to develop my other interests because depression means I barely have the will to do my job, so I feel like I should have permission societally to CTB.

Mostly what keeps me around is knowing how those who care about me would feel. I have lost someone dear to me to suicide, and it is one of the top three most horrible things I have ever endured. 20 years later, it still hurts to recall. And she had a peaceful exit with pills and booze.

So, I dunno. I'm still here. I'm starting ketamine treatment soon, and if that works, maybe I'll leave here for being too happy and well-adjusted. But that also might run me out of money, and then CTB looks pretty good again. If that doesn't work, I'm pretty well just done with trying to fuck around trying to find some treatment that works.

Agreed. The rat race has destroyed almost all of our lives world wide. It has effected the health system, the food distribution and the general way we treat each other as average poor citizens. Money has stolen our lives and our relationship with each other. It's a crime to put money over man.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Where do I sign up for the club? 40+ here

 

[wanttodie]

yes im 58

 

[Butterfly65]

You should have made the title "people over 40 what keeps you going?". I think this would have helped the kids as well because we can give good advice on many subjects.

I just want to rest. I want to go back to wherever it is that people/ animals come from or go to besides this shit box. I believe fully that we came here on purpose and have a reason to be here and no that doesn't make this crap any easier to deal with. I also believe that we go back to that same place when we finally fucking die wether it's now at any age or a long time from now. This life matters and being here matters very very much.

What keeps me going is the same things as anyone else. Fear, curiosity, hope, the few people I love and love me, seeing another sunrise-sunset, watching the rain, enjoying the little addictions in life in general.

I think the question is also "is it worth it to go on?". I dont have a good answer for that for myself. Then you have to realize that the individuals situation makes a huge difference as we see here on a site like this. One persons "meaningless and stupid reason" to want to die is from their point of view breaking their heart and causing them real pain. That pain is real for all of us. Its good to keep trying to remember that.

@GarageKarate07 thank you for this beautiful and poignant post. My quality of life is zero now from chronic disabilities and illnesses. I think when quality of life becomes null and void and there is only suffering and surviving instead of living then it's time to let go.