people only care about you if you create any form of value for them

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

and i think thats perfectly natural. not a reason to become salty or angry about. its just human nature

 

[Dreamcolleger]

Agree it's insanely true, it's just mutual cooperation.

 

[woxihuanni]

It's true, and it is OK. What is not OK is when you generate a lot of value but everything you do is deemed worthless because somebody deliberately devalues you in their own mind. And I don't mean being 'nice' to them, but concrete things like helping with their work, etc.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

It's true, and it is OK. What is not OK is when you generate a lot of value but everything you do is deemed worthless because somebody deliberately devalues you in their own mind. And I don't mean being 'nice' to them, but concrete things like helping with their work, etc.

you probably should stop helping them. nothing more you can do

 

[woxihuanni]

you probably should stop helping them

Well, it's all down the drain anyway.

 

[262653]

I agree. Unreasonable expectations are the pathways to disappointment, in my case at least.

 

[StillWaiting]

People start leaving you when they don't benefit from you. It is sad but there's nothing much you can change

 

[seekingoblivion]

Yep. That's why I want to die.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

People start leaving you when they don't benefit from you. It is sad but there's nothing much you can change

pretty much

 

[EmptySteph62]

This seems so true, I've had so many "best friends" who have left me as soon as they found better people to hang around. My own parents only seem to want me around to help them around the house or when they need something. No one ever just texts me to talk or see if I wanna get together it's always "hey how are you? Can you do this for me?"
It doesn't make me angry or anything as its common human behavior from my experience but it does hurt like hell

 

[noon]

I have to remind myself of this a lot as I catch myself being upset over it. It's just normal. It hurts a lot but, it is.

 

[EmptySteph62]

I have to remind myself of this a lot as I catch myself being upset over it. It's just normal. It hurts a lot but, it is.

Yeah it's a really terrible feeling but it's just human nature I guess.

 

[Mr2005]

It's like that episode of friends where they ask if there's such a thing as a selfless deed. Probably not but what's important is what that value is

 

[LastFlowers]

Idk, I cared for people long after they provided any value back to me. Only my family though. It is actually something I actively try to suppress because it's not fair to me, especially in my position, to continue giving while no one else gives back.
But what you are saying definitely holds a lot of truth for most cases.

 

[JulienSorel]

It's true. I often thought the people around me were nice to me because they genuinely found me lovely.

In hindsight. they were attracted by me, but very quickly like a parent finding out about how time consuming their child is, they lose their love for me and get sick of me when they realize I'm just as selfish as they are.

I think that feelings of love are actually moments of ignorant bliss, and time is always ticking to make that moment more difficult.

I decided as a freshman that a career and work was retarded, and that the key to capitalism was exchanging love intelligently, not wealth.

 

[LastFlowers]

This seems so true, I've had so many "best friends" who have left me as soon as they found better people to hang around. My own parents only seem to want me around to help them around the house or when they need something. No one ever just texts me to talk or see if I wanna get together it's always "hey how are you? Can you do this for me?"
It doesn't make me angry or anything as its common human behavior from my experience but it does hurt like hell

It has always bothered me that certain behaviors are deemed to be okay as long as they can be described as human or "natural."
To be honest I think we can do much better than our roots. I mean, what is the purpose of us humans being so intelligent as to discover our own nature, if we use the information to regress.

As a child, I used to harm myself to condition my brain out of certain "natural" processes, things like judging someone based on their appearance..you know, that instant assessment our minds create in a split second upon seeing someone for the first time. Things like that. I didn't realize until later that what I was doing was some type of negative reinforcement conditioning.
However it hardly matters now as I stopped when I became the victim of these same natural processes, too fatigued to continue trying to better my own humanity in the face of other's "natural" cruelty.

 

[EmptySteph62]

It has always bothered me that certain behaviors are deemed to be okay as long as they can be described as human or "natural."
To be honest I think we can do much better than our roots. I mean, what is the purpose of us humans being so intelligent as to discover our own nature, if we use the information to regress.

As a child, I used to harm myself to condition my brain out of certain "natural" processes, things like judging someone based on their appearance..you know, that instant assessment our minds create in a split second upon seeing someone for the first time. Things like that. I didn't realize until later that what I was doing was some type of negative reinforcement conditioning.
However it hardly matters now as I stopped when I became the victim of these same natural processes, too fatigued to continue trying to better my own humanity in the face of other's "natural" cruelty.

I'm sorry to hear that. I agree, it is pretty sad that we think of things like this as natural. I think the world wouldn't be so terrible if people could accept each other and want to be around each other for reasons other than wanting something. Maybe that's just me though

 

[sadgirl2002]

I think this is true with most people but there are definitely people who genuinely care without asking for anything in return. It just took me a long time to find those people and realise it.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

"value" doesnt have to be materialistic or anything

it can also be giving other people a good feeling when you around them

eg:

a lot of people who get sick (mentally or physically) lose most if not all of their friends. simply because they are not as fun to hang out with anymore as they used to be. which means they dont provide any value for their former friends anymore.

and who would blame them? its natural