Venting People Misunderstanding When I Do “Better”

[ObssessedEirika]

I hate it when someone says that "Oh, you're doing better now!" because it always makes me feel like a disappointment knowing how I'm actually doing. I hate the fact that when people notice you're doing better, they'll stop supporting you as much since now "you can handle it on your own since you're doing better." The people who think I'm doing better are so wrong. They're just seeing what I show to them. A happy person with definitely no problems. I hate it when they compare me to my past self because, I still feel the same. I don't feel any different from past me, if anything, I feel worse. I also hate it when I eventually relapse, even though that's part of recovery. When I do relapse, all of a sudden everyone around me asks what happened. For example, I had gone self harm free for a while, but then indulged in it and ended up with very noticeable sh. When the people around me noticed, they looked so disappointed. My family had thought I was doing better and treated me differently for a little while after. When I tried to explain why I did it, they just said "You had your coping methods that could've stopped you from doing this. Why didn't you use them?" I wish they would understand how I felt in that moment rather than "Oh you could've done this."

 

[Mirrory Me]

Yep, that happens to myself too sometimes when negative emotions get on top. It has also led to other addictions for me.

Today, I compensate for that by drinking black tea., In addition to l-theanine, it has many other ingredients that calm and stimulate the mind.