I really don't understand why we are treated this way. Is there something wrong with us that we are unable to perceive ? Whenever I give my opinion on a certain subject, people don't validate my opinion, they say I'm immature, that I'm talking shit, and blah blah blah... Either they disagree with me and don't validate my opinion, or they laugh and don't take it seriously, as is the case most of the time.
There's also this problem. Depending on what I say, people might take me too seriously and say that I have problems and need to be hospitalized for some reason. And, of course, I know that I have problems, and many of them, but I don't want to be hospitalized and end up in some kind of psychiatric hospital that will only make me even crazier, so there are certain things that I avoid talking about out loud, and I usually hide all my problems, so no one knows about my depression, my desire to ctb, among other things. The bad part about hiding your problems is having to deal with them alone. But it's better this way.
No one wants to be hospitalised, hence section. I am not depressed, my mood isn't the issue. You will go insane in hospital and you're expected to put up with how they treat you. All your rights will be taken from you. You don't even get a toilet seat so you have to sit directly on it, and you have no bathroom door. They control every single thing you do.
I hide all my issues, I only told one person I thought I could trust, but they only told someone and FORCED them to section me, because this person didn't want to feel guilty about my death - it isn't because they give a shit. No one cares. And they will make things up about you when you get in the hospital to make you look insane - they've done it to me and every patient in here - to ensure you are locked away and can't contest it, because you are 'nuts'.
I am of sound mind and a calm person, but they push you in here, so the doctors have a reason to keep you in.
Never tell anyone. Ever.
The system is fucked. You cannot say how you feel. You will be treated like a baby, like you can't do things for yourself or speak for yourself.
If you ask a simple question you will be told to 'calm down', when you're not even raising your voice or tone - you are merely asking a simple question. All of these tactics are on purpose to make you look insane.
Prisoners have more rights over here in the UK in comparison to prisoners in a hospital, it is not right. So rapists, murderers, serial killers etc are treated much nicer and they have more freedom and rights than someone deemed crazy.
I hope you're able to get some peace soon, whatever you decide to do
