FERAL_FRENZY
Legionnaire <3
- Apr 18, 2024
- 76
I need to get this off my chest.
I'm THIS close to blocking my friend. I hate that I always manage to end up in friendships that require me to do most of the emotional labor. I'm fed up. Whenever he's going through a rough patch, I'm always there to listen without judgment. Last month, he and his "girlfriend" of ONE MONTH broke up. They split up because the girl claimed that he reminded her of her sexually abusive ex. (Which is absolutely HORRIFIC when you think about it, but I have no idea what he could've said or done to give her that specific impression.) My friend admitted that he had a history of being jealous and controlling in relationships, so I simply put two and two together. No wonder.
He wouldn't stop crying about it for weeks on end, and he centered the situation around himself, bitching and moaning that he "loved her" and that he felt "used" because "she was supposed to be THE ONE!!!" In my humble opinion, a month simply isn't long enough to determine whether you TRULY "love" someone or not. Nowadays, we throw that word around so often that it's completely lost its meaning and ends up sounding shallow. I know for certain that there is more to the story than he is letting on, but I don't know his ex personally, and I'd rather not pry into business that isn't mine.
But despite my misgivings, I tried my hardest to be as supportive as possible and give the best advice I could with the limited relationship experience I had. (None.) I endured the bitchfest and held my tongue until he got over it. Since I did what I believed to be the bare minimum, I had hoped that he would return the favor. I couldn't have been more wrong.
Whenever I try to turn to him for support or validation, I'm always met with thoughtless one-word answers, or I get brushed off all together. He'd say things like "Damn, that sucks." or "Have you heard about (insert irrelevant topic)??" It makes me want to rip my fucking hair out by the roots. I'm tired of being treated like a therapist or confessional booth. Always giving it my all and never having my efforts reciprocated. People are so fucking VAIN. They love to hear themselves talk and simply can't stand the idea of the conversation not revolving around them for once.
But when is it my turn? When do I get a shoulder to lean on? When is someone going to finally care enough to listen to my problems? I'm not asking for them to respond with an award-winning novel of text, I just want to feel SEEN and HEARD. I always feel so bitter when I see people going out of their way for their friends. It's like a reminder that in the eyes of others, I'm not "good enough" for them to bother with giving a shit about me. Friendship feels like an absolute JOKE and I'm so over it. And no, I won't accept the shallow excuse of some people "not knowing how to console others." If you don't know how then you should keep your fucking problems to yourself until you figure it out. Don't expect comfort if you can't reciprocate.
I'm THIS close to blocking my friend. I hate that I always manage to end up in friendships that require me to do most of the emotional labor. I'm fed up. Whenever he's going through a rough patch, I'm always there to listen without judgment. Last month, he and his "girlfriend" of ONE MONTH broke up. They split up because the girl claimed that he reminded her of her sexually abusive ex. (Which is absolutely HORRIFIC when you think about it, but I have no idea what he could've said or done to give her that specific impression.) My friend admitted that he had a history of being jealous and controlling in relationships, so I simply put two and two together. No wonder.
He wouldn't stop crying about it for weeks on end, and he centered the situation around himself, bitching and moaning that he "loved her" and that he felt "used" because "she was supposed to be THE ONE!!!" In my humble opinion, a month simply isn't long enough to determine whether you TRULY "love" someone or not. Nowadays, we throw that word around so often that it's completely lost its meaning and ends up sounding shallow. I know for certain that there is more to the story than he is letting on, but I don't know his ex personally, and I'd rather not pry into business that isn't mine.
But despite my misgivings, I tried my hardest to be as supportive as possible and give the best advice I could with the limited relationship experience I had. (None.) I endured the bitchfest and held my tongue until he got over it. Since I did what I believed to be the bare minimum, I had hoped that he would return the favor. I couldn't have been more wrong.
Whenever I try to turn to him for support or validation, I'm always met with thoughtless one-word answers, or I get brushed off all together. He'd say things like "Damn, that sucks." or "Have you heard about (insert irrelevant topic)??" It makes me want to rip my fucking hair out by the roots. I'm tired of being treated like a therapist or confessional booth. Always giving it my all and never having my efforts reciprocated. People are so fucking VAIN. They love to hear themselves talk and simply can't stand the idea of the conversation not revolving around them for once.
But when is it my turn? When do I get a shoulder to lean on? When is someone going to finally care enough to listen to my problems? I'm not asking for them to respond with an award-winning novel of text, I just want to feel SEEN and HEARD. I always feel so bitter when I see people going out of their way for their friends. It's like a reminder that in the eyes of others, I'm not "good enough" for them to bother with giving a shit about me. Friendship feels like an absolute JOKE and I'm so over it. And no, I won't accept the shallow excuse of some people "not knowing how to console others." If you don't know how then you should keep your fucking problems to yourself until you figure it out. Don't expect comfort if you can't reciprocate.
. I like your way of speaking.
