People are really delusional.

[IceQueenMina]

I don't get how my therapist and just people in general are so against suicide. My therapist even commented on the fact that I've been doing therapy with just this organization for over 6 years. Clearly it doesn't "get better" and if it does, it's too little too late. As time goes on it just gets harder and harder. Saying "it gets better" is just giving someone false hope. You cannot promise someone that. You cannot guarantee that this depressed person's life won't actually get so much worse with probably higher odds than it getting better.

My dad also really doesn't understand mental health, (19 so still living with him) pretty obvious through the things he says. I've been anorexic for a while and once I finally got to a normal weight, I told my dad cuse ya know that's a good thing. His response? "Well, you still have too much fat. You aren't active enough for muscle to be making up a healthy amount of that weight." While he doesn't know I was anorexic, he does know I'm severely mentally ill and have body image issues (I'm trans) so saying that kind of thing is just yikes. He also shows 0 concern for me. Best thing to say to your daughter lying in a hospital bed having just stabbed herself and overdosed. "sigh. Dude, just tell me if you're feeling this way." Wow way to make me feel loved. Saying that like I've just inconvenienced you instead of nearly dying. Just let me die.

 

[Dawns]

people will never understand it because they don't go through what we go through. they will never be able to understand why someone would want to do that to themselves. society as a whole only wants to put a stop to suicide because they see it as a failure of the system. because that person chose to end their life.

 

[Exit-Life]

I know those feels. It does sound shitty but hey, at least he was there. When I was in the psych ward no family showed up, only my so at the time.

 

[FrostedHoax]

Agreed, people that have never felt truly suicidal cannot possibly envision the amount of emotional and mental suffering and turmoil that leads someone to that point. Suicide is highly stigmatized in society and "normal" people will go to great lengths to preserve that stigma to keep people from offing themselves because if people were able to easily kill themselves, it would be much more difficult to hold control over people.

 

[Viranamari]

People are certainly so selfish and they only care for their own existence so it doesn't come as a shock that they said that. I suggest trying your best to ignore such people as interacting with them will bring no good. You shouldn't take their words to heart as after all, they'll never understand your struggles. But in the bright side, at least your father came to see you in the psych ward. I know many people whose parents didn't see them at all. At the very least, it lightly implies that he cares for you but still he's not understanding.

 

[IceQueenMina]

I know those feels. It does sound shitty but hey, at least he was there. When I was in the psych ward no family showed up, only my so at the time.

Only because he had to, it was the ER. Once I was in the psych ward he never visited and called once.

People are certainly so selfish and they only care for their own existence so it doesn't come as a shock that they said that. I suggest trying your best to ignore such people as interacting with them will bring no good. You shouldn't take their words to heart as after all, they'll never understand your struggles. But in the bright side, at least your father came to see you in the psych ward. I know many people whose parents didn't see them at all. At the very least, it lightly implies that he cares for you but still he's not understanding.

As I said to someone else, he didn't visit me in the psych ward, only the er. called me at the ward once.

 

[RoundaboutResolved]

Things "might" improve once you get your own place & can start living your life the way YOU want to. I could be reading this wrong, but sounds like your dad is part of the problem. Wishing you a moment of peace, hugs!

 

[IceQueenMina]

Things "might" improve once you get your own place & can start living your life the way YOU want to. I could be reading this wrong, but sounds like your dad is part of the problem. Wishing you a moment of peace, hugs!

issue is I'm too mentally ill to do so :/

 

[RoundaboutResolved]

issue is I'm too mentally ill to do so :/

Well damn, there's that catch22, sorry

 

[aubrey!]

"it gets better"
the classic quote from people who have lived happy lives. ahaha. what fucking assholes man.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly think that someone must be so incredibly delusional to not even see suicide as being a perfectly logical and valid option in a world like this. I could never see any benefit to suffering, enduring the futile process that life is just to inevitably cease existing anyway.
It's true that humans in this world really can be so incredibly insensitive especially towards those who want to die, it seems like suicidal people are treat badly everywhere and many other people won't even try to understand. I would personally see it as being best to not open up to other people at all, as the attitudes of other people could very easily just make things worse. Suffering people don't deserve to have their feelings invalidated by someone else who cannot experience life the same way.

 

[aitouka]

Agreed. Everyone says it will get better and when we tell them it won't and it is not getting better despite trying, they just tell us either we're not trying hard enough or we still have to wait. But it's so hard to persist. And yeah, I know it sucks, but your family's words doesn't affect the fact that you've made an achievement - congratulations on gaining weight! You've done so well. And you don't deserve to be invalidated. I feel like you need to see another therapist - obviously staying 6 years with the same one didn't work and your therapist clearly doesn't understand nor have any empathy on your suicidal ideations. Good luck, I wish the best for you.

 

[LittleJem]

I keep reading the research in my case on medication for treatment resistant depression. Hmm on one med it is a 50 per cent chance of improvement, with a 24 per cemt chance of remission. It get's better is a platitude. Statistics are closer to the truth

 

[IceQueenMina]

I keep reading the research in my case on medication for treatment resistant depression. Hmm on one med it is a 50 per cent chance of improvement, with a 24 per cemt chance of remission. It get's better is a platitude. Statistics are closer to the truth

Exactly. I've tried to make things better time an time again. Tried to have relationships, make friends, make progress on life goals. But every single time it's been shut down and usually left me worse than I had been before. I don't know how many times I can keep trying with decent odds of failure overall, and from personal experience basically 100% chance of failure. There's only a few more tries I can take before I completely snap. Heck, even one big one would probably do it. So yeah statistically not feeling like playing the chances and just ctb to get out of this gamble that is life makes a lot of sense objectively.

Agreed. Everyone says it will get better and when we tell them it won't and it is not getting better despite trying, they just tell us either we're not trying hard enough or we still have to wait. But it's so hard to persist. And yeah, I know it sucks, but your family's words doesn't affect the fact that you've made an achievement - congratulations on gaining weight! You've done so well. And you don't deserve to be invalidated. I feel like you need to see another therapist - obviously staying 6 years with the same one didn't work and your therapist clearly doesn't understand nor have any empathy on your suicidal ideations. Good luck, I wish the best for you.

I have kept persisting, it's been less than successful and has wound up worse than when I began. I can't keep persisting too much longer before I've crumbled to the point of being completely insane and out of touch with reality to the point I can't function as a normal person in any way. Thanks for the kind words. One thing I've figured out during therapy is my lack of motivation partially stems from lack of positive feedback on accomplishments throughout my life. It's not the same therapist over 6 years, it's been multiple; it's just been the same company. So clearly this many therapists shows that the therapy system as a whole isn't working or at least no where near enough or fast enough. Really annoying that I'm expected to put in all the work and effort to stop being suicidal. I started doing IOP and they keep asking what I want out of it. I have no idea because I was just told to go do it by my current therapist, previous therapist, and approved by my psychiatrist. The program is almost over and my scores haven't changed at all because the IOP just teaches basic coping skills when I need in depth one on one therapy or something. I could have told them that from the beginning. But of course me agreeing to do it means I want to do it and I'm need to put in the effort to get better because of it. Same thing with therapy. My therapist says that I'm there willingly so I want to get better. Like yeah I want to get better only because every force has kept me in this world after every attempt I've made to ctb. So yeah if I'm stuck here I kinda have to do what you tell me will make things better. I'm not really allowed a choice here. Either I don't do therapy and I'm blamed for nothing getting better, or I do therapy and get blamed for nothing getting better, or I try to ctb and get blamed for trying a permenant solution for a "temporary" problem. I'm the one that's supposed to look for reasons to live, says the people forcing me to live.

I certainly think that someone must be so incredibly delusional to not even see suicide as being a perfectly logical and valid option in a world like this. I could never see any benefit to suffering, enduring the futile process that life is just to inevitably cease existing anyway.
It's true that humans in this world really can be so incredibly insensitive especially towards those who want to die, it seems like suicidal people are treat badly everywhere and many other people won't even try to understand. I would personally see it as being best to not open up to other people at all, as the attitudes of other people could very easily just make things worse. Suffering people don't deserve to have their feelings invalidated by someone else who cannot experience life the same way.

Genuinely the universe would be better without life. Just peaceful chaos of the cosmos. No suffering because nothing can feel suffering. Just existing.