People are awful

[Suicidebydeath]

My sister told me that the person that visits my mom at home the most told another guy that my mom was in hospital because I beat her up, or something.
My mom is in hospital (nearly a coma) because of DKA, a problem with her diabetes.
This leaves me in a predicament because its by word of mouth, I didn't hear it myself.
I know my sister doesn't like mom's visitor and has pretty paranoid thoughts about him.
I don't have a contact number to ask the other guy what was said exactly.
Did my sister lie? (the rest of my family is shit, they all lie, but does she?), did she misunderstand and her brain made up the rest? did the person telling her lie?(unlikely) then it leaves with a few other possibilities, that he misunderstood, or that the other person did in fact lie and tell them that.
I don't know what to believe, the whole thing is unbelievable to me. However there has a be a version of the truth and none of the possibilities are that great.
I don't want to confront the person directly, in case it a misunderstanding, and they could lie about what they said. It seems the only way is to ask the third party what was said.

This sort of thing would usually depress me more, because I hate it when people lie, its worse when they lie about me, its triggering, and usually enough bad things in a row would make me feels suicidal, everything has been shit lately. Maybe the mirtazapine helps. I'm still in shock. People are awful. I know my family is awful. I would trust what the 3rd person said, but my faith and trust in people is shook once again.

I want to discover the truth because it will determine how I treat that person in future and whether or not I'll allow them to visit in future. So this is a reminder to myself as well, since I don't know when I'll be able to talk to that person. I'm also curious about motive. If what my sister said is true, is he just doing this because the rest of my family hate him? Taking it out on me? Or is my sister just as crazy as the rest of my family and making it up? This sucks.

I wasn't sure whether he was actually taking advantage of my mom or not, I'm investigating that. If this is true I lost all trust in him.

 

[Achlys]

I'm sorry you've found yourself in such a predicament. I get frustrated in similar situations where all I know is based on hearsay, as well. I hope you can get to the bottom of this.

 

[Smart No More]

You can request your medical history (and any notes doctors and relevant professionals leave on it) through the freedom of information act. I'm not sure what circumstances you're able to do so with regards a family member but it's definitely possible. I would assume next of kin or immediate carer could do it. You can request them to do it if you're not the person that fits that description. They sometimes tell you to do it in writing and in some cases only give you a summary so you have to specify that it's the full medical history you want, not the summary. This will detail any allegations made if they have been. More immediately you could call your Mothers doctor or care provider and ask to speak with someone regarding concerns about her care and bring it up with them. Due to confidentiality you will need the okay from whoever they have as the official correspondant for your Mom but that should be easily remedies with you being her daughter. If it's your sister you might have to come up with a reason if you think she'll challenge it in regards to the alleged accusations.

Another option might be to ask for contact details for the carer under the guise of needing to discuss some technicalities of your Moms ongoing care and then ask them outright.

All carers have to log everything in every care visit. I trained in care and theres a duty of care for them to do this.

Also, all this aside, you have a very legitimate concern here so official channels should be obliging to you. You could literally call up the number of the care firm used by your Mom and explain exactly what you said in OP. You think a serious alegation may have been made but also accept that your sister may (for one reason or another) have got things twisted. They have to respond appropriately. Just be sure to say yoy don't want to kick up any fuss prematurely so it doesn't get blown out of proportion. You just need to get things ironed out and confirm or deny the allegations first. Obviously if it did occur then you want and need to escalate the matter.

Ultimately, if its true you can't have that person caring for your mother so it does need to be addressed.

And yes, (some) people are awful! Totally agree.

 

[FuneralCry]

Some people really can be so cruel and I'm sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like a complicated situation and I can imagine that it must be stressful. It is so horrible when other people just make things worse. I wish you the best and I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

 

[OctoberDusk]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Going from what you wrote, I'd guess your sister either misheard something or is confused through paranoia. I'm thinking if someone were spreading a rumor that you put someone in a hospital through physical violence, you would be hearing about it, probably from investigating authorities. This is all speculation, however, and again, I'm sorry you are in such a position, but sometimes people get lost in their world and send shutters through the real one. Still, I'd talk to him if I could, as well as your mother's nurses and doctors, in general. I suspect you'll be able to tell if they think you caused harm.