Wyldfyre4948

Wyldfyre4948

Waiting for my bus
Jul 12, 2023
377
Had an epiphany about PPH being both Peaceful Pill Handbook and Planned ParentHood.

Back to the point about people sucking. Why is it some people feel it is their right to tell everyone else what to do? My life is shit and I've seen behind the curtain that the world is run by monsters who don't care about anyone but themselves. So naturally I'd like to check out because I've seen enough and don't want to be here anymore. Of course this leads to everyone saying there's something wrong with me, and I need meds, doctors, and a fucking leash. People can't just leave well enough alone and accept that I'm done with this world and would like to leave.

My wife leaves me and I tell her I want to kill myself because she is my only reason for living. She says I need help and that's it. I've had a hospital stay, therapy, and meds but they didn't work. For whatever reason my wife worked and was enough to keep me grounded. Nobody really understands the misery some people are in and just assume a couple pills will fix you.

The assclowns behind the ddos attacks are the same way. Or maybe they're just miserable assholes who want to make sure everyone is just as miserable. People want an abortion? Let them have one. People want to end their life? Let them do it. Honestly if I die today, tomorrow, or even next Hanukkah it will only affect maybe 10 people max. Life will go on and there will still be school shootings to ignore.

I just want peace for my soul and for anyone else who wants it as well. It would be nice to disappear and have that be it. Making it harder for people to CTB just means they need to find a new way. I'd love to go to the doctor and just tell him I'm done. He scribbles something on a paper and the pharmacy gives me a couple pills. I make some calls and say my goodbyes. Then I can text a number that I'm about to take my medicine, or a family member does it afterwards. Dying would be so nice if we could embrace it and choose when to say goodbye. How many people in this world didn't get to say goodbye because suicide is stigmatized as being bad? Nothing in this world makes sense though.
 
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TapeMachine

TapeMachine

perpetually confused
Jan 12, 2023
406
I feel that: "Nothing in this world makes sense.."

I'm tired, and I just spent the past 48-ish hours sleeping...It doesn't make sense, and it pisses me off. I haven't even been able to enjoy my day because I cannot seem to shake the vivid images and feelings from some of the dreams I had during the 48 hour slumber...

Anyway. Sorry for the vent...I'm just exhausted..

I agree with you that it would be so much nicer if we could be more open with people about ctb. Then, perhaps, it wouldn't have to be such a lonely, sad affair.

I'm sorry that life has been shitty lately (or perhaps much longer) for you. ::hugs::
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
If you're someone that doesn't suck then you already know the answers
 
foreverfalling

foreverfalling

Experienced
Jul 22, 2022
256
We never left high school. I remember there was a 'game' where people made a hole with their hand below the waist, and if you looked at it they would slap you for being a perv. They slapped you whether you wanted to play or not. The people that win and get off on doing this will make other people play, at the expense of the person being slapped. They don't care about making the world better. They care about keeping you in the game to feel better about themselves.
 
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madbananas

Wizard
Apr 29, 2020
620
I agree. The only thing that has made me feel better is not focusing on relationships and finding something I really enjoy, basically learning to live for myself. Unfortunately bosses are people and a lot of them are narcissistic and we need money so that's my reason for wanting to ctb now. Can see why some people just want to disappear off the grid.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,921
I see it as being so inhumane how suicide is so stigmatised in this world, the reality is that for many the only relief lies in death and many just don't wish to exist here in the first place.
It's disgusting expecting people to endure meaningless existences where they suffer until they die anyway, we are all destined for nowhere but to die so I would see it as preferable to leave on my own terms preventing all future suffering, existing is completely unappealing to me and I would never wish to decay from age.
Wanting true peace from this existence could never be something "wrong", I see it as always being a valid way to feel.
 
Fktw0rld

Fktw0rld

An end with suffering > Suffering without an end
Aug 29, 2022
404
I approve this message
 

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