Peaked

[Pallf]

Does anyone else here think they've hit their peak and that it's all downhill from here? I've felt like this since middle School and it hasn't let up.

 

[Tiburcio]

Same here. The bachelor's grade was my downfall. When I began it everything went to the shit. That gave me probably the worst days of my life.

 

[FakeNews]

I've had peaks and valleys. When I was in HS, I didn't think I'd ever be happy. Had a few years of success, married a girl I met, was distracted and happy for a few years. Then divorce. I would have said I peaked at that point. My mood became dark again. But I focused on travel and started learning about other cultures and history and my career took aff again. Making money, traveling the world, feeling on top of the world. I decided to do something different. Got burned by someone I trusted. Dark thoughts again. I could say I've probably peaked but wtf do I know. Life is up and down for me. I've always had demons, just sometimes they don't occupy as many thought cycles as other times.......

 

[Flife]

Every time something happens I feel like it can't get worse, but then it always does. I'm so tired of life at this point. More importantly, I'm tired that people I trusted break their promises and leave. I don't understand how it's so easy for everyone to just forget me when I gave them my everything. I feel like I gave so much of me to everyone that I don't have anything left for myself anymore. And still it isn't enough for them. I'm never enough for them.

 

[Tiredman]

My Peak was probably when I was in grade 11. I had good grades, lots of friends and was in peak physical health. I'd give anything to go back

 

[FullFat]

Yes, and it's really painful to think about because the peak was only 3 years ago. It's too easy to compare my life then to the shitshow it is now. Only consoling thought is that the peak was pretty short-lived. Somehow, realizing it was a fluke makes me feel better, like maybe it's not really my fault for the downward spiral afterwards.

All I know is that it feels like life only chips away at my character; it never adds to it. Depression is simply who I am now. There's not much left besides it.

 

[CogitoMori]

I hit my peak a couple of years ago, at fucking McDonald's. My life looks like a tragedy, but I could swear it's a comedy.

 

[Forever Sleep]

My main goal in life has been my (creative) career to the exclusion of everything else. I'm not sure I even want anything else now. I'm not even sure I want a creative career! It's more that it's the lesser of the evils while I'm stuck here.

I think it's more likely- if I'm able to continue in my prefered field that I'll make small improvements as I learn. I'm bound to make f*ck ups too of course. Still, I'll never be as good as I wanted to be. What's more strange is, the past few years, I've started to care less. I don't have the same drive and passion I used to. I still try to do a good job. It still bothers me greatly when I fail but, the love has largely gone out of it. So maybe for that reason too, I won't progress as much as I'd hoped. Even if I did, I'm not sure it would be enough to make me happy.

I have this weird relationship with my work. Someone I used to work for remarked that I wasn't good at taking compliments. I'd shrug it off- almost as if someone else had done the work. I think because in my mind, it is almost like someone else had done it. Being creative has been a coping mechanism for me since childhood. So, it's a bit like being praised for being maladjusted in a way. Plus, there's always something I'm unhappy with on pretty much everything I've done and I think we tend to focus on the negatives a lot.

For me though, it's like I might not have peaked but I don't know that I care to anymore. I want it all to be over more than anything else. Everything else pretty much feels like coping and distraction.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Yes but I really have peaked. I'm 55 so definitely all downhill for me. The landslide has already started.

 

[Namelesa Graves]

My life has had mostly been downhill with 2 peaks.

The first peak was after I was slowly painful struggling emotionally with school when covid happened where i was finally able to escape it and also transition. Then I went into college and I got into my first relationship and basically my first real friend. Tho that ended like 2 months and then I realized how lonely I was and felt really worthless and empty.

The second peak was when i went into my second relationship but it was intense and unstable due to our mental problems so it ended after a year.