Discussion Passive suicide?

[Fadeawaaaay]

My SI is too strong and I'm too lazy to CTB. But I can feel my body begin to deteriorate. I'm supposed to get some dental work done but keep putting it off because I know it's going to be painful and expensive. And I think I just discovered what might be skin cancer. But part of me is hoping it will spread and I can die of it. Probably not the best way to wrap things up. But I've just stopped caring.
I had a family member experience something similar. Ignoring health problems until they turned into something deadly. The thing is I just don't care.

 

[FuneralCry]

It does sound so horrific dying from a disease but it is understandable wishing to die from health problems as ctb is so difficult after all. The SI really can be so frustrating. Peacefully passing away in my sleep is what I want the most. I'm sorry that you suffer. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[rationaltake]

I think a lot of us would understand where you're coming from. I don't bother with any routine health appointments now. I worry that it's all so unpredictable. I tell myself I need to take action to ctb. And I don't.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

My SI is too strong and I'm too lazy to CTB. But I can feel my body begin to deteriorate. I'm supposed to get some dental work done but keep putting it off because I know it's going to be painful and expensive. And I think I just discovered what might be skin cancer. But part of me is hoping it will spread and I can die of it. Probably not the best way to wrap things up. But I've just stopped caring.
I had a family member experience something similar. Ignoring health problems until they turned into something deadly. The thing is I just don't care.

I'd love to get terminal cancer - I'd be so happy that I don't have to go to the effort and guilt of CTB - I'd just get high on morphine & oxy every day and then die in a care home - that would be heaven

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I think a lot of us would understand where you're coming from. I don't bother with any routine health appointments now. I worry that it's all so unpredictable. I tell myself I need to take action to ctb. And I don't.

Pretty much this. I was hoping covid would kill me when i had it back in January. Covid was useless.

 

[rationaltake]

Pretty much this. I was hoping covid would kill me when i had it back in January. Covid was useless.

I know. And then people caught Covid and died when they didn't want to.

 

[goldenvirginia]

If you've ever seen someone first hand die from cancer, I'm pretty sure you'd change yourself mind. It's horrific.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

If you've ever seen someone first hand die from cancer, I'm pretty sure you'd change yourself mind. It's horrific.

I have. It is absolutely horrific.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Cancer is a prolonged, agonizing death. It's not exactly what I would consider peaceful until you are at the very end, and Hospice gets you on some good painkillers that knock you out and, actually, speed up your death.

 

[lofticries]

Nah, I don't understand the whole wanting something that kills you slowly and painfully.

But then again here i am wishing someone goes awol one day and shoots me in the head. Or better yet I die in a freak accident that takes me out in a second. And whatever remains on my body that are salvageable go to someone who needs them.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Nah, I don't understand the whole wanting something that kills you slowly and painfully.

But then again here i am wishing someone goes awol one day and shoots me in the head. Or better yet I die in a freak accident that takes me out in a second. And whatever remains on my body that are salvageable go to someone who needs them.

None of these fantasies are entirely rational…

 

[Capsaicin78]

That is why I thought of maybe stopping eating/drinking entirely. But I think it would be waaay to difficult.