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S

som1

.
Dec 22, 2021
137
days are only getting longer and my ability with passing time is decreasing. I no longer can watch tv shows, anime, or movies. The music I loved now is making me feel so much shame. I can only listen to classical at the moment which is good but the band I once loved I can no longer listen to anymore. this site is helpful to me for passing time but I mostly don't know how to respond to threads and sometimes I would have read most threads so I wait for others to make more threads. I mostly view threads in suicide discussion, I can never view threads in recovery cause I can never relate to them. I guess I am just writing this to pass time. days are so long I can't wait till I ctb.
 
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artificial_ineptness

artificial_ineptness

Member
Nov 14, 2021
93
This is relatable. Although I've been suicidal for years now, I struggle to think of any moment in the last couple of months that I have had any desire to do anything (besides duties / obligations) outside of thinking / reading about death. Ideally, I would at least want to spend my time productively and somehow help others, since I have nothing better to do until I ctb, but I don't feel capable / have the energy / know what to do, so I just have to lay down and rot until a new day comes and I can start this garbage all over again.

May I ask why you feel shame about the music you used to love?
 
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artificial_ineptness

artificial_ineptness

Member
Nov 14, 2021
93
cause both me and my ex used to listen to them, but he cheated and made a playlist for her with these songs.
Ouch, damn, I'm sorry to hear that.
 
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G

Graytaichi

Wizard
Feb 14, 2022
606
I can relate to your pain
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,378
I understand how you feel. I am in a similar situation. The days are too long and there is nothing that I enjoy or look forward to. I struggle to concentrate and I have no interest in anything. I always feel horrible. All I am doing is passing time until I fall asleep. My life is very depressing and empty, it is like I have already died. I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish you the best.
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
I've ceased all the things I once loved: music, cooking, seeing friends, learning, dreaming, hoping…
 
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whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,913
This is relatable. Although I've been suicidal for years now, I struggle to think of any moment in the last couple of months that I have had any desire to do anything (besides duties / obligations) outside of thinking / reading about death. Ideally, I would at least want to spend my time productively and somehow help others, since I have nothing better to do until I ctb, but I don't feel capable / have the energy / know what to do, so I just have to lay down and rot until a new day comes and I can start this garbage all over again.

May I ask why you feel shame about the music you used to love?
I'm worried about the fact that I relate to what you wrote.
 
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W

Wet and Cold

New Member
Feb 19, 2022
4
I relate to this 100% I've lost interest in nearly everything regarding my physical health such as being social, exercising and even eating. It's hard for me to sit down and watch something or play a video game because I'm starting to lose interest in those things too. I long for sleep as it has become the only form of release from the constant suicidal thoughts I have.
 
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