aWeeBitTired
I don't know anything.
- Feb 25, 2024
- 48
I hope I don't sound irrational in this post. It's only by that fear that I think I feel I should share these plans, ideas, and thoughts. This is the space I feel where I can openly speak towards my CTB plans where I won't be ostracized or taken away. So please critique or share your thoughts with me.
For a short background, I can expand if anyone asks, I've been suicidal for two years now and my trajectory has fallen further into the depths of depression irrespective of my attempts. My entire life I have suffered from anxiety but have never been diagnosed. As David Foster Wallace would suggest, the flames have gotten too hot for me to handle.
I realize that my suicide will inevitably hurt and shock those around me. I have thought to reveal my suicide with friends and family members so that when I pass it doesn't hurt them so badly, but I'm worried that I'll simply be incapacitated and called mentally unfit. My current plans revolve around driving out to a remote location and catching the bus via partial hanging in my vehicle. I will have sent a delayed email out to the police sharing my location. My thoughts are that no bystander will find me and instead the authorities can recovery me without impressing them with thoughts that they could have saved me.
I of course have a lot of duties to deal with such as my belongings and personal accounts that I will deal with before I do complete this plan.
It's my hope that I don't sound childish or rude in this post. It's very hard for me to express myself.
For a short background, I can expand if anyone asks, I've been suicidal for two years now and my trajectory has fallen further into the depths of depression irrespective of my attempts. My entire life I have suffered from anxiety but have never been diagnosed. As David Foster Wallace would suggest, the flames have gotten too hot for me to handle.
I realize that my suicide will inevitably hurt and shock those around me. I have thought to reveal my suicide with friends and family members so that when I pass it doesn't hurt them so badly, but I'm worried that I'll simply be incapacitated and called mentally unfit. My current plans revolve around driving out to a remote location and catching the bus via partial hanging in my vehicle. I will have sent a delayed email out to the police sharing my location. My thoughts are that no bystander will find me and instead the authorities can recovery me without impressing them with thoughts that they could have saved me.
I of course have a lot of duties to deal with such as my belongings and personal accounts that I will deal with before I do complete this plan.
It's my hope that I don't sound childish or rude in this post. It's very hard for me to express myself.