Parked in front of my ex's house right now. Got like 15 certified fentanyl M30s. Now it's just the hurdle of doint it...

[KatalinaKrimson]

I spent like 2.5 hours driving here too
I wonder if I should drink the fenty water mix that I had to make to test it.
I wonder if I should drink the fenty water mix that I had to make to test it.
Tasted some of the water.
Licked the plastic that had crushed fent on it too. I have no idea if that's even enough to get high but it definitely tasted pilly
I've never done anything heavier than shrooms, and that was one time. I have no idea what to expect with fent.
It's 10:04. I just read that it can take 10-30 minutes for effects to be active. I have no idea if I'm taking enough for it to even have an effect or if I'm taking enough to die. To be clear, no part of my conscious mind wants to continue this
I mean continue living. Not continue drinking the fent water.
10:06 drinking more and more, little by little. Maybe I should stop for 30 minutes
10:06 drinking more and more, little by little. Maybe I should stop for 30 minutes
I put two 'scoops' based on this itty bitty scooper thing that came with the fent test kit into the water. Of course with street-pressed pills, it's impossible to know how much fent is actualy in there, but it's definitely some.

 

[Tobacco]

I'm sorry life led you to this.

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

I do not feel shit rn.

And please don't act sobby over me killing myself. I literally want this. It's going to solve all of my problems.

 

[xXiloveyouXx]

I do not feel shit rn.

And please don't act sobby over me killing myself. I literally want this. It's going to solve all of my problems.

did you already take them all? how are you doing?

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

I actually sipped and nibbled quite a bit more from like 10:30 - 11:00. I took at least like 1/5 of another pill,
Nah. I didnt take them all. I probably should have. My dumbass yapped to friends about what I was doing and they like, came and got me

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

July 24 (next day), 4:37PM: Yeah. Another example of me being a fucking failure.....
4:48pm: Went back just now. Holding the fent sublingually under my tongue.

 

[Off_Switch]

Don't do this in front of your ex's house. Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing the control they have over you.

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

Don't do this in front of your ex's house. Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing the control they have over you.

You misunderstand. I want him to know how much control he has over me. He's supposed to have control over me. But he threw me away.

 

[Live_Life55]

You misunderstand. I want him to know how much control he has over me. He's supposed to have control over me. But he threw me away.

Did the fent make you feel anything? I thought its supposed to be so strong you pass out if you even touch it

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

are you gonna take all of it this time?

Well we've established that I'm a stupid fucking useless pussy. So probably not. But I have been dissolving the pill into almost nothing in my mouth rn (that's actually supposed to get it into your blood faster).

My hope is that after I've already taken the one, it'll destroy my inhibitions enough for me to take the others

Did the fent make you feel anything? I thought its supposed to be so strong you pass out if you even touch it

Nothing! And I even tested it as positive for fent using a harm reduction test strip.
7:11 PM: took a bit more. I'd say I now have 1.5 pills inside me. Still feel nothing.

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

7:39. Reading a bit more (from the all-knowing Google gemini, cuz why not) and it seems that it's kinda easy to be high on fent and not realize it. Come to think of it, it may actually be starting to effect me. Because my pupils do look a little bit small. I tried to hit myself on the head, which is something I do a lot while sober and feeling self-hate. And I'm used to it hurting, but it didnt really hurt. So yeah, I'm thinking I'm just on a minor dosage of fent rn, like what doctors would give you at the hospital for pain relief. I think i might give it a try to put another one, or maybe two this time, under my tongue. Idk.
7:52 walking around. Got 2 under my tongue. Left the rest in the car for now. But I'm kinda worried I'll encounter my bf and then I wont have enough on my person to cause an overdose. Might actually want to put all remaining 13 fents under my tongue. That way I wont be caught possessing fent, I dont think.
The only reason the first one dissolved as quick as it did was because i was drinking soda lol
7:56 Here we go! I got 13 of them under my tongue time to look for my bf. God, I look like shit too, lol

 

[astaroth81]

7:52 walking around. Got 2 under my tongue. Left the rest in the car for now. But I'm kinda worried I'll encounter my bf and then I wont have enough on my person to cause an overdose. Might actually want to put all remaining 13 fents under my tongue. That way I wont be caught possessing fent, I dont think.
The only reason the first one dissolved as quick as it did was because i was drinking soda lol

at this rate you're likely to pass out and wind up 5150'd before you od and CTB.

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

8:01 kinda hard not to swallow them. I'm def salivating more than before with all these pills in my mouth
Idk. 13 pills is a lot

at this rate you're likely to pass out and wind up 5150'd before you od and CTB.

Idk. 13 pills is a lot
8:08. I thought there would be euphoria. Only thing I can really notice is that I'm maybe slightly more stumbly and it doesnt hurt when i smack myself in the head. Maybe if there's a next time, i need to try mixing it with synthetic heroine.
By the way, if I survive and move on from wanting to kill myself, I intend on making a post letting you know. So unless some psych convinced me that I should never ever even think about communicating with this forum again, it means I won.

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

9:47. At the ER. I'm such a fucking loser. God I hate myself. I dont even feel "high" really. Just fucking dizzy. A little hard to breath normal and hard to swallow. It's like the physiological effects of being drunk without any of the mental effects. No euphoria. Just lame.
I'm so pissed off that I can't even manage to kill myself. I hate this shit. I wish I could make all my problems disappear.

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

3:58AM. I don't get why but after they let me leave the er, I think I may be peaking now. Breathing is really difficult. Only problem is I'm in a parking lot halfway back to my house. I'm nowhere near my daddy like I was supposed to be.
I'm shivering. I have narcan with me but I don't want to use it
I'm shivering. I have narcan with me but I don't want to use it
Idk if I'm gonna lose consciousness
4:18 it was a fucking panic attack. Not an oncoming overdose. God I'm fucking stupid.