KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

minecraft zombie
Nov 23, 2020
1,301
My dad is dead and my mom never raised me, but I think if they were actually concerned about the possibility of their child's life going to shit they should have been antinatalists and not had children because their selfish decision lead to a lifetime of suffering for me.
 
Sinkinshyp

Sinkinshyp

Paragon
Sep 7, 2020
947
im not exactly sure what youre asking about but i think @Sinkinshyp might be someone you can talk to about this
Thank you for mentioning me. @mimiopo22 I am a mother here because my son died. I am available to chat if you want/need. You can reply to me here or message me anytime.
I know some parents whose children died but they haven't CTB.
Instead, they live a really sad and soulless life because they lost the most precious thing to them

You are right. It's a very empty, painful, sad, soulless life the last 3 years 2 months and 7 days without my son. Yes our children are the most precious things on this earth to us. I would give my life if it would bring my son back so he could have one. He died at 25 in a car accident. I will NEVER recover. I will never have anything beyond a forced existence while I am here. I breathe and my heart beats because well my body just wont stop working, other than that there is nothing in me anymore.
Mhh, is there a statistic to it? It's quite an interesting question tbh.
Yes hunny there are a lot of statistics in regards to parents ctb after their childs death. As well as a lot more statistics out there. I know from what I have read parents that were post 20 years after were still a depressed unable to function. I wont spent much more time in this forced existence. You can message me you do anyway which I love because you give great hugs and you need many more hugs. Ask me if you want to know any certain statistic. There aren't a lot of studies because I recently read there are only under 10thousand children a year that die in the US so since it's not so common there are not a lot of studies. But I know some basics of some I've read in my attempt to see if I would ever have any sort of a life.

and HUGS to everyone=)
 
Sinkinshyp

Sinkinshyp

Paragon
Sep 7, 2020
947
Hun don't feel uncomfortable. I'm sure some in this thread will speak up for me, I'm pretty open. You are welcome to talk to me. I just need to warn you, I try to be honest. If you are curious about your parents if you go- well you can tell me just tell you about the little parts not the deep stuff.
may I ask your approx age and if you have a close relationship with your parents?
 
mimiopo22

mimiopo22

Specialist
Dec 4, 2020
380
Hun don't feel uncomfortable. I'm sure some in this thread will speak up for me, I'm pretty open. You are welcome to talk to me. I just need to warn you, I try to be honest. If you are curious about your parents if you go- well you can tell me just tell you about the little parts not the deep stuff.

may I ask your approx age and if you have a close relationship with your parents?
21 years. I loved them very much before and they wanted and still want me, but after a trauma I lost contact with the world and with them too.
 
Sinkinshyp

Sinkinshyp

Paragon
Sep 7, 2020
947
21 years. I loved them very much before and they wanted and still want me, but after a trauma I lost contact with the world and with them too.
I think there's stuff we can talk about but I think for your privacy can we take it to messages? is it ok for me to message you?
 
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deadwithoutmusic

deadwithoutmusic

Member
Sep 10, 2020
73
@Sinkinshyp How close were you to your son? Was he your only child? Do you have a partner? I don't want to intrude on your privacy so feel free not to answer any of these.

I'm curious because I am not that close to my parents. We share no common interests and my older brother is much closer to them than I am. They check up on me every couple of weeks to a month but I always get the feeling they don't really care that much for me even though they claim they do. My parents are seperated but each have another partner. They live pretty good lives and I don't think me dying will have that big on an affect on them. I think they will be able to move on without much effort in a couple of months or so. What do you think? I am 25 at the moment and have been living out of home for awhile now.
 
Sinkinshyp

Sinkinshyp

Paragon
Sep 7, 2020
947
@Sinkinshyp How close were you to your son? Was he your only child? Do you have a partner? I don't want to intrude on your privacy so feel free not to answer any of these.

I'm curious because I am not that close to my parents. We share no common interests and my older brother is much closer to them than I am. They check up on me every couple of weeks to a month but I always get the feeling they don't really care that much for me even though they claim they do. My parents are seperated but each have another partner. They live pretty good lives and I don't think me dying will have that big on an affect on them. I think they will be able to move on without much effort in a couple of months or so. What do you think? I am 25 at the moment and have been living out of home for awhile now.
My son was 25. He was going to work I said have a good day buddy I love you and out the door he went. He had a fatal car accident on his way to work he came home 2 weeks later in a cardboard box of ashes. I raised him alone since I was 20. His father didn't want him. We were VERY close. He was my son, my caregiver, my hero, the man of the house and my best friend... I had full respiratory failure in 2013 due to emphysema and cold germs. I wasn't supposed to survive and docs put my son at 21 in charge of decisions. I recovered from the respiratory failure because my son took such good care of me. Hence, he still lived at home at 25. He was there for when my lungs went bad.

I have a younger son who will be 20 in January. My older son would be 28 now. Parents love ALL their children equally but differently. You might be more responsible than your sibling so they don't have to check with you as much. They love you BOTH the same. I broke when my older son died. Badly, my younger son had to watch me for a year and a half basket case, pilled out so I wasn't in hysterics, or hysterically screaming I want my son, I want to die... in my state of being totally obliterated my younger son turned 18 a yr and a half after his brother died and ran to my ex in laws. I know for his mental health it was the smartest move he ever made. I am still on this earth ONLY for him.

My younger son reached out end of sept early oct cant remember now. I was going to ctb Oct 13th the day my older son went he did NOT know this. But he said he wanted to work on our relationship, he wanted me to come stay at my ex in laws with him (ex in laws want me there too), he wants me to teach him to drive.. well he was calling and texting and playing a video game with me talking on discord. After we got past the 13th he began backing off. It's been 3-4 weeks or so now that the progress I thought we were making stopped. I talked to him the other day. He said he loves me but he will never see me as the same mom again. I caused to much trauma in my break down. I now know he only reached out around that time to be there to get me past that day. Knowing now, I will never be able to try to fix my relationship with my baby boy I have nothing left to live for... I learned the other day when my younger son lost his big brother that day he also lost his mom. I think my texting and calling brings reminders to him of me begging him to let me kill myself. I think mentally for him I died that same day. I love him just as much as my older son. I was a single mom to both boys but my younger sons dad and my ex in laws were a big part of his life where as all my older son had was me.

feel free to ask away I will be honest and I guess it helps me to get it out
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Jun 22, 2020
4,978
I went to my friends funeral who died at 18 and her mother was in agony at the burial site that I've never seen before or since. I can never forget that look of sheer unadulterated agony and she looked at me and her husband was practically carrying her out. It was horrible. ;-;
 
Sinkinshyp

Sinkinshyp

Paragon
Sep 7, 2020
947
I went to my friends funeral who died at 18 and her mother was in agony at the burial site that I've never seen before or since. I can never forget that look of sheer unadulterated agony and she looked at me and her husband was practically carrying her out. It was horrible. ;-;
how she was that day is probably most of her days. Psychology says the death of a child is the most traumatic painful event in anyones lives physically and mentally. I have been through a lot in my life. Nothing can compare to the pain I wake up to everyday. Every day I open my eyes- first thing that hits me he's not at work he isn't out of town working... he's gone and not coming back. Than I spend my day between crying and planning how to get to him...
 
M

Moon Flower

I'll soon be sleeping sound
Oct 14, 2019
536
Probably depends on the mindset of the parent. My s/o was his mom's only son and he ctb, but she's still around.
 
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P

Pallf

I'm tired
May 27, 2018
338
I hate and love these discussions. Love because it brings out more information that can be used to decide whether or not to ctb, and hate because it would make me feel guilty about doing that to my parents. More knowledge is always better, and I'm glad the OP brought this topic up.