RecycledAtoms
Electrode
- Nov 9, 2019
- 108
Can you please explain how it felt upon hearing that your child committed suicide? I can't imagine what my parents would feel and I'd like to get an idea. Sorry if this was offensive of me to ask.
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My 20yo has unsuccessfully attempted suicide three times. My daughter has been hospitalized twice with suicidal ideation. I've attempted several times, the last time in January. My kids don't know though. They think I had a reaction to my medications and then self admitted myself to the psych hospital after a week in the ICU to deal again with my PTSD. We all have diagnosed PTSD from living in a domestic violence situation. My other son is undiagnosed and stuffs his feelings. I worry as he's been rather off and impulsive lately. My kids keep me here for now because I'm afraid if I left, they would follow.
It was the most frightening and traumatizing experience to have my son make those attempts and even to have my daughter threaten them. She planned to jump in front of a train. She lost two friends to suicide in a year, so I took her ideation and plans seriously. I imagine how much pain I cause my own 77yo mother with my actions.
I can't claim to know the pain of losing a child, but I know the daily fear that I live in knowing one of my children might try again. I know this is the fear my mom lives with about me.
I wish there was something that could erase the trauma and the scars it has left on all of us. We all do try to recover in our own ways. The memories of some things and the weight of the past just feels like too much sometimes.
I know that's not a direct answer to your question, only a somewhat related perspective.
It was the most frightening and traumatizing experience to have my son make those attempts and even to have my daughter threaten them. She planned to jump in front of a train. She lost two friends to suicide in a year, so I took her ideation and plans seriously. I imagine how much pain I cause my own 77yo mother with my actions.
I can't claim to know the pain of losing a child, but I know the daily fear that I live in knowing one of my children might try again. I know this is the fear my mom lives with about me.
I wish there was something that could erase the trauma and the scars it has left on all of us. We all do try to recover in our own ways. The memories of some things and the weight of the past just feels like too much sometimes.
I know that's not a direct answer to your question, only a somewhat related perspective.
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NordNihilist
Member
- Nov 16, 2019
- 16
Damn... This video left a serious impression in me. This definitely makes it harder to choose ctb over life.
That's why I try to stay in the middle of the whole pro-suicide vs pro-life debate. There is a lot of pain on both sides and we should never forget that even if we can't always understand each other.
No normal human being can look at a video like that and not feel her pain. I'm right with you. It also makes me doubt a lot of things.
SoupSnakes
Experienced
- Nov 11, 2019
- 217
Especially the fact she starts to feel guilty over little things such as shouting at him for taking too long in the shower etc...
zherhk
Student
- Nov 25, 2019
- 126
I think,
When you lose someone (or just thinking about the behaviour you just had) you feel guilty about every negative memories that happened because of you, even the smallest thing.
You can't add something positive anymore and you wish you had spent the time with your beloved better, since you can't have more time to enjoy him or her, but at the time you couldn't know.
