Venting Parents found my SN package: has it happened with anyone else?

[whybother2002]

I ordered SN and selected the option "call my number before delivering". It didn't work, as they didn't call me and I wasn't the one to receive the package. My parents got it, opened it and did a quick google search to find out it must be some sort of chemical poison.

Then I got an angry lecture with lots of shouting on how I must be strong, how I'm so lucky to be alive and how I'd never enjoy eternal life because the all loving god won't forgive me and would send me straight to hell (I don't even consider myself a good person, but it pains me to think someone like Nick Drake is boiling in hell because he couldn't stand the pain anymore...) Thanks I'm much better now and all of a sudden full of hope. I understand how difficult it must be to parents, but I'm also impressed by how wrong they get things. I just want to be at ease. :(

P.S. I know most people here have a worse relationship with their parents and had a life full of abuse, I'm not trying to equate the situations in anyway.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

What did they do with it?

 

[whybother2002]

What did they do with it?

Cut it open and threw it all away in front of me

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Cut it open and threw it all away in front of me

So they are aware of suicidal feelings on your part and don't seem like the ones to gently and encouragingly try to her you out as to what is making you feel that way in the first place. That's really difficult and frustrating to deal with. What do you think they will do from here on with that knowledge?

And you're not the first person whose family or other people found out unintentionally about ordering this.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Seems like your parents don't empathize with you at all. It seems like they're actively trying to make you feel worse. I don't know you so I won't pretend to understand, but depressed people always try hard, and I'm sure you do too. Your alternatives may be a PO box or a friend's house. Hope you find peace.

 

[whybother2002]

What do you think they will do from here on with that knowledge?

Probably double down on suicide watch and not let me by myself not even for 15 minutes (they said that basically). Thank you (and the others here) for the kind words

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Probably double down on suicide watch and not let me by myself not even for 15 minutes (they said that basically). Thank you (and the others here) for the kind words

Well you're fortunate they did not do anything more coercive like call EMS on you but you want to be careful to avoid triggering that now that they're onto you so to speak.

If you want to talk about what led you to order SN you can with me.

 

[RimeOfTheAncient]

Are you over or under 18? If over, then I really think its non of their business but if you are under 18 they kind do have to take it away. I'm sorry they cant empathize with you better. Do you think you will try to get more and hide it better next time?

 

[whybother2002]

Are you over or under 18? If over, then I really think its non of their business but if you are under 18 they kind do have to take it away. I'm sorry they cant empathize with you better. Do you think you will try to get more and hide it better next time?

I'm 23. If things continue as desperate I need to get it. I'm so scared the opportunity will take much longer than I expected and I'll have to live a horrible life.