parents don't believe in me

[looking_for_peace]

Last year I made an attempt to change my life for the better and enrolled in a software engineering course. it's a good university too. I got in, but my parents weren't as enthusiastic about it as I thought they would be. I don't blame them. I drink all night and sleep all day. it just sucks because I'm trying to be better, you know? I'm 20 and sick of living like this. today, my mum sent me a giant message at 3am telling me why I should reconsider enrolling. to be honest, I think she's just afraid of me losing my government assistance because I give her money whenever she asks. she has such high expectations for my siblings but for me? she is content with supporting me my whole fucking life because in her eyes there is no chance of me ever being independent. want to know the real kicker? the university course is free for the first year. I have nothing to lose (except my government assistance, possibly) so it really feels like that's all I'm good for in her eyes.

I'm grateful in a way. I was looking for a reason to ctb and I finally have one.

 

[MideonNViscera]

You know what might make you feel better? Following through with your plans regardless of what they think. It might be a tough road, but if you succeed, it will feel so fucking good.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Your worth isn't contingent on what your parents or anyone else think of you. Some parents will never be happy no matter what you do. I say that from experience. You're not obligated to continually try to appease their sour hearts.

 

[looking_for_peace]

You know what might make you feel better? Following through with your plans regardless of what they think. It might be a tough road, but if you succeed, it will feel so fucking good.

I think it would feel satisfying at first, but once the dust has settled? I'm not sure. the only reason I did this was to make them proud

 

[MideonNViscera]

I think it would feel satisfying at first, but once the dust has settled? I'm not sure. the only reason I did this was to make them proud

I understand. Do you think there is a scenario where they would actually be proud though? Maybe their opinions shouldn't be something you value. There's nothing wrong with putting yourself first.

 

[MidnightDream]

I understand. Do you think there is a scenario where they would actually be proud though? Maybe their opinions shouldn't be something you value. There's nothing wrong with putting yourself first.

This. If you're constantly doing things to seek validation from others, you'll never be happy.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I really sympathise. University is a challenging step as it is. It's even harder when you don't have the support and belief of your parents. Still- that's on them! They SHOULD be supporting you! I find it very unlikely you would have been offered a place if they didn't think you had the ability. I REALLY hope that you do accept the position AND seek out any help there if you find yourself struggling. (I struggled in my second year and talked to a therapist.) You're more than a paycheque for your family! You deserve a future too.

Sometimes, I think we do have the horrible realisation that we are on our own in life. It's not easy but in a way, it can help break any illusions and make us focus on ourself. Still- that really has to be up to you. Depends on how much hope you have left I suppose.

I do hope you give this a try (if you want to) but ultimately- it has to be your decision. Doing the course may not necessarily make things better- but it might- you just don't know. CTB is always there as an option- it will wait if needed. I wish you all the best- whatever you choose.

 

[BGooG]

People don't get into a university program without some ability and skills to back it up. If you want to try the program, do it. But do it because YOU want to.

My biggest concern is that you said you drink all night and sleep all day. This behavior will have to change for you to succeed in your program. If you can deal with that aspect of your life, I see no reason you can't make a good attempt at this.

 

[onceuponadec]

My mother said the same thing to me when I told her I was going to get a degree in accounting.