dragonofenvy
Warlock
- Oct 8, 2023
- 725
On one hand, I do want to try to express how badly I'm feeling. On the other hand, when I talked about self-harm a few weeks ago she said the two magic words of "medical intervention" if I did self-harm. So I don't know how to tackle the topic of barely even being able to make it through a week, and not wanting to or wishing I didn't with her, because when I said so last time she was immediately on guard. I'm hoping she can try to help me cope with everything, but I don't want that to involved hospitalization. I was partially hospitalized once and it ruined my life in many ways so I don't want to repeat that but worse since I'll end up losing my job on top of all the bills for it.
I should be honest, but I don't think I can be fully honest. I've had different plans going through my head, but I don't think any of them will work. I don't think Type 4 suicidality is enough to put you in the hospital, but I'm not sure. Realistically, what can she even do to help these thoughts? Tell me to take a walk? The "healthy" coping mechanisms don't work as well as my unhealthy ones which is why I do them in the first place.
Any advice is appreciated.
I should be honest, but I don't think I can be fully honest. I've had different plans going through my head, but I don't think any of them will work. I don't think Type 4 suicidality is enough to put you in the hospital, but I'm not sure. Realistically, what can she even do to help these thoughts? Tell me to take a walk? The "healthy" coping mechanisms don't work as well as my unhealthy ones which is why I do them in the first place.
Any advice is appreciated.
