Venting Panic attack and self-harm, I can't breathe now

[Deleted member 17331]

I'm having a panic attack and I'm trying not to hurt myself too much. Life hasn't been nice in the last few days. I can not breathe. I'm hurting myself with a knife, because that's what is helping me now. But I also know that if people see these marks they will want to harm me. I want to stop, but I can't do it.

I want to stop.

 

[MrAsclepius]

Blades are nice until people start asking.Try not to cut too deep for your nerve(s) sake and your privacy. Panic attacks are unavoidable as I have come to understand. It's not your fault, it's something you can't control.

 

[Sinai Silence]

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way and the past few days haven't been easy. I know from experience that it is difficult to try stop. Just make sure to treat the cuts properly afterwards to be safe. I hope your pain eases soon. Hugs

 

[aspen]

I'm kinda split if i should write this because i normally try to refrain from giving advice or maybe encouraging/creating new "bad" habits, but from my own experience the only thing that helped me was a heat ointment as a substitute for cutting (probably the wrong word just a literal translation, in my country i used a cream called "finalgon salbe", its gonna take some minutes before you feel the burn and most of the times when i had a panic attack i couldnt even think about putting a bandage on)but i would first try some other things that are maybe more healthy, there are quite a lot of tipps for helping panic attacks and self harm if you search on the internet. It's worth a try i guess.
i personally slowly "weaned" myself off of Self harm, i went into it with the knowledge that it's gonna still happen a lot and i never counted the days i was clean because i felt that i would otherwise fall in a hate cycle thinking that i destroyed all my progress and ultimately make things even worse. I also have to add that i always thought that the lesser evil between a panic attack and self harm was the latter. For me stopping self harm during a panic attack would be the last stage of "recovery". If you're mainly self harming during panic attacks i would try to minimize the damage and maybe concetrate to somehow eleviate/ solve your panic attacks (im sorry but I have no idea how)I know i made it sound a lot easier than it really is and probably sound really pretentious (i have no idea what i'm doing and i actually don't think that I'm in any position to give out advice, i most of the time don't even know if what I'm doing is right or wrong) but i hope that i was In some way helpful to you, and hope that you're getting better soon.

 

[Deleted member 19276]

I am really, really sorry!
I actually just woke up from a nasty panic based nightmare myself, since my room ran out of air and I was suffocating.
I guess in a way, something was wrong after all though.
I have nothing against self harm or people that do it, but it's those mental health services or family members that are around who may think otherwise.
When I stayed at the mental hospital, at least 10 people with doctors included would ask me what the scars are all about, expecting a serious and meaningful explanation as if I have to justify my actions to them. One patient even laughed and made fun of my self harm scars, calling them tattoos and then calling me a masochist.
Shame on those people, but... Enough about what my situation was like. Please, whatever happens and whatever you do, make sure to hide them.
I am worried they may start bugging you with questions too or start to call those health services for help which... Makes it a nightmare for the person that is harming.
If you have a way to treat them, the wounds, I'd say do it somewhere in secret like a bathroom, with the door locked. Put a band aid, some sort of wrapping and some sort of disinfectant too. In the end, make sure no one can see blood of any kind and cover the scars or wounds with clothing or clothes I mean. I know it's far from the perfect solution, but at least if it helps for a time being... I simply hope no one sees you, because I worry they may do terrible things to you like they did with me.
Another alternative to the blade is an ice cube, but if you are in too much emotional pain it may not work at all.
Placing ice on a sensitive part of the skin as an alternative to self harm.

I wish I knew how to help more properly... With me and self harm, it stopped an year or so ago, mainly because it does not work as much for me anymore.
There is one final idea I have, that perhaps could help in some way but... I am not sure if it will be right.
But please, if you can, try to shake the panic off, I know it's very difficult, but resist it for as long as possible.
I am so sorry though, if only there was something more all of us could have done here in the thread...
I guess we can only hope the panic attacks stop for you and you manage to find some peace.