Discussion painful

[subj]

When I have the courage to CTB I am looking to make it painful, lengthy and unable to turn back. I have adolescent sex abuse at the hands of priests, I am dirty, useless mentally inspite of looking successful and happy on the outside. i have dreamed of the kind of crucifixion that would take days to die from but of course that is not possible to do alone.Ave there other ways to punidh myself andsuffer badly for days without anyway to back out?

 

[little helpers]

I think reason why slitting one's wrist is not considered viable by many is becuz it's too slow and painful. and that survival instinct kicks in.

not pro-lifer but bear with me on this one. I have CPTSD and OSDD thanks to my fucking childhood. diagnosed. and it's not like the trauma stopped once we went out-of-state for college. I been r*ped, and medically abused (as with almost all actively suicidal people). I (think I) get where you're coming from. the way I see it, we seek out more trauma cuz that's what we know best. I desperately want to be harmed. badly. I ask to be hit, strangulated, abused. damn, I mean, my roomies were all balling their eyes out when I struggled to finally say "hit me, hard. please." I'm shoulder deep in pain but utterly needs more. I wanna be punished cuz I should. that's all I deserve to have.

that is a huge sign for complex PTSD. not pathologising it in any way. just acknowledging that it exists.

so I'm not exactly sure if your goal is to die or to self harm. maybe both. you can go with just SH, or take your SH method to an extreme such that you end up dead. even though I'm not too certain if it'll work out.

 

[subj]

I think reason why slitting one's wrist is not considered viable by many is becuz it's too slow and painful. and that survival instinct kicks in.

not pro-lifer but bear with me on this one. I have CPTSD and OSDD thanks to my fucking childhood. diagnosed. and it's not like the trauma stopped once we went out-of-state for college. I been r*ped, and medically abused (as with almost all actively suicidal people). I (think I) get where you're coming from. the way I see it, we seek out more trauma cuz that's what we know best. I desperately want to be harmed. badly. I ask to be hit, strangulated, abused. damn, I mean, my roomies were all balling their eyes out when I struggled to finally say "hit me, hard. please." I'm shoulder deep in pain but utterly needs more. I wanna be punished cuz I should. that's all I deserve to have.

that is a huge sign for complex PTSD. not pathologising it in any way. just acknowledging that it exists.

so I'm not exactly sure if your goal is to die or to self harm. maybe both. you can go with just SH, or take your SH method to an extreme such that you end up dead. even though I'm not too certain if it'll work out.

Thank you..im sorry for your suffering and appreciate your thoughtfulness.

 

[little helpers]

Thank you..im sorry for your suffering and appreciate your thoughtfulness.

no worries, man.
I didn't sign up for this year's trauma paralympics but I just want to say that you been through a lot too. too much, really. you been through too much.

and if you choose to SH do it safely. take care. <3

 

[subj]

thanks

 

[FuneralCry]

I do believe that we all deserve the option of a peaceful exit, nobody should have to resort to a traumatic method to end their suffering. I'm sorry you are in so much pain that you feel like you need to do this. I wish you the best whatever happens.

 

[subj]

Thank you for your concern

I do believe that we all deserve the option of a peaceful exit, nobody should have to resort to a traumatic method to end their suffering. I'm sorry you are in so much pain that you feel like you need to do this. I wish you the best whatever happens.

Thank you for your concern

 

[subj]

I think reason why slitting one's wrist is not considered viable by many is becuz it's too slow and painful. and that survival instinct kicks in.

not pro-lifer but bear with me on this one. I have CPTSD and OSDD thanks to my fucking childhood. diagnosed. and it's not like the trauma stopped once we went out-of-state for college. I been r*ped, and medically abused (as with almost all actively suicidal people). I (think I) get where you're coming from. the way I see it, we seek out more trauma cuz that's what we know best. I desperately want to be harmed. badly. I ask to be hit, strangulated, abused. damn, I mean, my roomies were all balling their eyes out when I struggled to finally say "hit me, hard. please." I'm shoulder deep in pain but utterly needs more. I wanna be punished cuz I should. that's all I deserve to have.

that is a huge sign for complex PTSD. not pathologising it in any way. just acknowledging that it exists.

so I'm not exactly sure if your goal is to die or to self harm. maybe both. you can go with just SH, or take your SH method to an extreme such that you end up dead. even though I'm not too certain if it'll work out.

You have made me think with your connection of how I may be acting out my CPTSD