Don't ask me my logic behind starting ozempic today whilst I'm actively suicidal. I suppose I'm putting on an act for my family pretending I'm getting better; going out with them, trying to loose weight etc. My question is will me starting it today have any interaction with possible taking SN tommorow.
I had originally planned to ctb on the 10th of April, when my parents are away and my brother is on a foreign country school trip. I just realised I have an 8+ hour time window tomorrow where I'm alone and I figure it would be a lot less selfish to do it tomorrow rather than when everyone is out of the country. I have imagined my parents on the plane ride home and I feel terrible at the thought of it. I would also like to add I don't get many opportunities other than these two dates.
Although my possible CTB plans for tomorrow are impromptu, I have been passively/actively suicidal since September and as time goes on, the worse I get. I have lived a life full of pain and hardship and don't want to continue. Most days I don't leave my room, let alone the house, I have no friends and severe PTSD and BPD.
I have everything I need and will fast tonight just in case. I have my note written and just need to clean my room. Right now I'm just thinking things over and hoping I muster up the courage to do it as it's something I have wanted for a long time and think about everyday, ctb was always the end goal.
Any thoughts or advice is much appreciated.
I had originally planned to ctb on the 10th of April, when my parents are away and my brother is on a foreign country school trip. I just realised I have an 8+ hour time window tomorrow where I'm alone and I figure it would be a lot less selfish to do it tomorrow rather than when everyone is out of the country. I have imagined my parents on the plane ride home and I feel terrible at the thought of it. I would also like to add I don't get many opportunities other than these two dates.
Although my possible CTB plans for tomorrow are impromptu, I have been passively/actively suicidal since September and as time goes on, the worse I get. I have lived a life full of pain and hardship and don't want to continue. Most days I don't leave my room, let alone the house, I have no friends and severe PTSD and BPD.
I have everything I need and will fast tonight just in case. I have my note written and just need to clean my room. Right now I'm just thinking things over and hoping I muster up the courage to do it as it's something I have wanted for a long time and think about everyday, ctb was always the end goal.
Any thoughts or advice is much appreciated.
