Venting overwhelmed by despair: struggle with coping and longing for escape

[chaosdrifter]

i'm so filled with pain, i literally can't cope. i'm breaking every relationship i touch. sooner or later everyone realises how superficial i am, they see how gross and pathetic the real me is. i'm filled with despair and feel infinetly lonely. i want the "death" pill so badly, but i don't have any means available nor the capacity to think clearly to develop a safe plan to prevent me from surviving. i'm so fed up with ending up in this situation again and again.